Learning to appreciate the opposite attraction in all of our close relationships will enhance all aspects of those relationships, but it is our job to pay attention to it and to keep it in the proper perspective. To many times as humans we forget to look at that important opposite tension in our relationships, and instead of letting it do its job naturally and keep the relationship growing, I fear that sometimes we put it in the “annoyance” category and let it get in the way of growth. This has great potential to break down relationships without us even noticing that it is doing so. In some cases, we don’t notice it until it feels too late to do something about it.
I will tell you that it is never too late to do something about it if you value healthy relationships.
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We’ve already discussed this opposite tension with the Saturated, Whitened, and Blackened designs, so let’s talk this week about Grayed.
The Grayed design loves details and they love taking their time in relationships. It is part of the romance, no matter what stage of the relationship you are in. If you are on the front end and in the “getting to know each other” part of the relationship, you will notice that they love to take time and really evaluate the connection. At the same time though, they also are internalizing those connections and really enjoying them and living them as they do that analysis. If you find yourself in the “years later” part of a relationship, they have connected with you through your history and they are deeply loyal to that type of connection.
Grayed with Saturated People
Because of the fact that Grayed people love to take their time to analyze everything, the opposite clear-thinking aspect of a Saturated person is very attractive to a Grayed person. They admire their ability to sequence and move forward with competence in each decision. On the other hand, it can become a barrier to getting closer to the Grayed design because that can later come across as immovable and rigid to a Grayed person. They might take that initial admiration for precision and later see it as a reason to lose credibility with them and also with others.
Grayed with Whitened People
The Whitened design moves quickly and spontaneously, and to a Grayed person that is attractive because it feels free. They feel full of life and can even bring a Grayed person along and nudge them a little. It is very attractive to the Grayed design for an amount of time. It can, however, lose credibility when components of the relationship start to have a pattern of losing their conservatism and seem random to the Grayed person. It can be very threatening to the Grayed design’s way of life.
Grayed with Blackened People
The Blackened design is initially very attracted to the thoroughness and conservative nature of the Grayed design. They both love to mute anything too bright or dramatic, so the opposite attraction can seem very comfortable in the beginning, but if not navigated in a healthy way with healthy independence, both designs take completely different routes to getting their needs meet. That might make each design think that things are changing when it comes to the attraction, when they really are not. The Blackened will get busy trying to fix the problem, which might seem forceful to the Grayed design. That can also seem like a confrontation and Grayed people are very uncomfortable with confrontation. The more the Blackened person forces the issue, the more the Grayed tends to avoid the issue all together.
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Again, it is so important to navigate and collaborate from the position of the initial attraction, by remembering how important it was to us when we first met the person in our relationship. Letting people be free to express themselves in their authenticity is required in celebrating each other in opposite relationships.
And just as an interesting final note…we seem to have a habit of surrounding ourselves with our opposite designs, that’s just the way we tend to set up close relationships. That makes it even more important to remember and learn to navigate this important concept of “Opposites Attract.”
It is also equally important to remember that everyone is a masterpiece.
Brook
RELATED POSTS:
When Opposites Attract
Opposites Attract: Celebrating the Differences (the Saturated Design)
Opposites Attract: Celebrating the Differences (the Whitened Design)
Opposites Attract: Celebrating the Differences (the Blackened Design)
Hi Brook thought I’d done this but maybe my old email miss you 😘