The How and When of Reconnecting in a Pandemic–By Design

Posted on July 20, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

We have been in the middle of a pandemic for several months now, and whether large or small, it has caused some change for all of us. One of the biggest changes has been in our ability and opportunity to connect with others. As things begin to slowly re-open around the country and world, we need to talk about how we can reconnect with others in a meaningful way. Now when it comes to the “when” in reconnecting in a pandemic, I will leave those answers to the experts who know best; but the “how” I am definitely comfortable taking a shot at!

Reconnecting during these challenging times is important because we have all, at some level, been forced to change the way or the amount of connecting with others from the way we used to do it several months ago. Our old normal is seemingly something of the past. We are left in a space to try to figure out the best ways to connect with those who are important to us, and those who are essential to our day to day care.

My best advice is to take into consideration the thought process of someone you are thinking about reconnecting to and move forward respecting those things that are important to their design. Though a lot has changed in this so called “new normal”, one thing that has stayed the same is someone’s design, and respecting the central focus of others’ designs when you reconnect is as relevant now as it has ever been.

Here are some tips:

If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Saturated Design, remember that their thought process is all or nothing, black and white. Because of this they might have a tendency to experience the pandemic in that same way. They will evaluate in a clear way the “all” part of all or nothing thinking first. All the threats that the pandemic brings. All the sanitation options. All the possible outcomes. For example, they will evaluate “is it dangerous/a threat or are we in the clear?” and then react accordingly. They might come across extreme, but it is really just their best way of making sure they keep “all” of those around them safe. They will take that very seriously. It is their way of serving and protecting.

When that is “all” done, they will move into the “nothing” stage and reconnect as if nothing is going to happen because they have covered “all” of their bases. To others it can look careless or uncaring but it is not, it is just a newfound confidence in their ability to reconnect to others while also keeping them safe.

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If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Whitened Design, keep in mind that they want to enroll you in a social way, but are also anticipating your needs at the same time. Because the thought process of the Whitened design is social and they are interested in pleasing, they will pay attention and follow your lead when it comes to reconnecting, so communicating what will make you feel safe and happy will be very helpful. They might fire a lot of questions your way in an attempt to see where you are at so they might connect in that way. Some will see the questions as an attempt to cling but it is not; it is an attempt to get the “lay of the land” to determine how to move forward in a way that meets your needs not theirs.

For example, if a Whitened person asked how you were experiencing the pandemic and you responded with, “we are doing nothing, we are staying in our basement and only having food delivered,” they would then take that info, respect your way, and have food delivered to you as a way to reconnect but at the same time please in a healthy way.

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If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Grayed Design, constantly process how hard change is on their thought process. They need the time and space to process all that is changing, and to analyze the best or optimal path to reconnecting and all that might come with that. Asking them what their thoughts are on different aspects of the pandemic is a great way to serve or reconnect with them, and then offer an ear to listen to their thoughts or analyze it with them. Leaving the interaction with encouraging words like, “give it some thought then let me know what you think,” or, “we don’t have to do anything right now but let’s definitely keep talking about it,” is a great way to serve them.

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If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Blackened Design, don’t forget that they are reasonable, but like realistic thinking. There will be some things about reconnecting that seem practical to them, and some that do not. They need it to be pragmatic to incorporate it into the reconnection process, so if they are not buying into something that makes you feel safe, just tell them in real and honest words why it is important to you. They love to protect, so if you tell them why it seems reasonable to you, they will be your biggest advocate. Too many times we just accept their first response and don’t give them the honest debate. We walk away feeling misunderstood, when in reality we just didn’t give them the information in a Blackened way so they could respond. They most likely would have.

So moving back into life, wherever you are and whatever you circumstances, when you are thinking about all that is needed to reconnect make sure you also spend a little time thinking about others and how they might be experiencing this phase as well. You need it, they need it, and we all need to stay safe.

And remember everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Why Shouldn’t I Focus on Just My Predominant Design?

Posted on March 16, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

A question was asked at Human Art this week that gets asked quite frequently: “What is the benefit of knowing all aspects of my design? Why can’t I pay attention to my predominant design only?”

The answer is not a simple straightforward one, it is one that, in my experience, elicits a great discussion. But we will give you a simple answer today.

You always have the right, in your autonomy or independence, to focus on your predominant design—the one that you are the strongest in. In fact, we have had clients over the years that have done just that, and at the time it worked for them. In that place and time that was exactly what they needed. However, they did come back later to explore more of the influences of the lesser (but just as important) designs and found that their influence on the predominant design was way more important and impactful than they were acknowledging or taking advantage of.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

The second option would be to immediately embrace all four of the designs and pay attention to the order and amount of them you have. The higher they are in your personality, the more they will influence your first, or predominant, design. For example, we have been working with a client whose design is Saturated first. It is so strong that more than half of her equation as a whole is Saturated. She is equally Blackened and Grayed next and then there is a small amount of Whitened at the end. She finds herself looking for clear answers and then moves to focus on that clarity in her work to become more successful in her respected career. That was once enough for her, but after she came to Human Art she learned that her Blackened and Grayed is the part that actually allows her to dig in to tasks once she prioritizes them and then she is meticulous with combing through what she might have missed at the end. She learned that her small amount of Whitened is the spontaneous part of her personality that wants to play or celebrate once a project finds its way to a successful and quality outcome. She expressed that she was just focusing on her Saturated abilities before consulting with us and she had ignored her instinct to use the strengths of her other three design influences. She left excited to move forward with all parts of her design and put into place her own system to success through her design.

The point of all of this is to answer that first question, “What is the benefit of knowing all aspects of my design?” At Human Art we give you the order and amounts of your design. If we have not done your profile*, you can still instinctively navigate your design. The important thing is, on is on your journey to find success I believe that using all aspects of your design to meet goals and challenges will launch you to higher amounts of success than just using your predominant one, which is just a portion of your whole design.

I believe you are worth it, and remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

*Click here to learn more about getting your personality profile

Healthy Collaboration by Design

Posted on February 27, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

At Human Art we like to spend time on the skill of learning how to collaborate in healthy ways. There are a handful of tools that can lead to this very thing; but having the discipline to stay in it is a little harder to navigate.

In our quick fix and instant information world (that can be a blessing and a curse), we sometimes let that discipline slip and we move to something else that will lead to immediate soothing, rather than relying on the good old-fashioned hard work of staying in a conversation with another human until we get to a healthy place with each other.

To add to the sometimes slow pace of working on healthy collaborations, each design has a different way they prefer to collaborate. In other words, what seems healthy to one person might not be preferred to the other person in a conversation. It would do us all good to slow down and take into consideration each design and what is important to their form of communications.

You will notice that if you are not paying attention to the thought process and design preference of the other person or persons that you engage with in a collaboration, the exchanges become more and more frustrating and less and less productive as the conversation goes on. If you notice some “can be’s” showing up, you will know that you have gotten off track.

Here is a simple guide to recognize if we’re off track:

⇒When talking to a predominantly Saturated person and they suddenly appear distant or aloof…you have most likely gotten off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Grayed person and they suddenly appear avoidant…you have most likely gotten off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Whitened person and they suddenly appear random or obnoxious… again, you’re probably off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Blackened person and they suddenly appear overly sarcastic and sometimes even mocking…probably off track.

As you go through the next few weeks, make an effort to bring healthy collaborations back into your social interactions. Look for signs that the conversation could be off track and move to curiosity and deeper understanding of the person or persons you are communication with (and ideally, they are doing the same for you).

It will be worth your while—you’re worth it and so are your relationships. And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

-Brook

For more about the topic of working to understand the other person’s design, read our related posts below!

Put it on a Shelf: See Things from the Other Perspective
Celebrate Others: Step Out of Your Design
Listen Like You’re Watching a You Tube Video

How to Use Blue: A Follow Up (VIDEO)

Posted on February 10, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

As a follow-up to more of the questions we received regarding our January blog posts about the color blue, Brook has created a short video to help you know the different ways you can use blue, and how to keep it in your own design.

For an even more in-depth video about the color blue, log-in to the Human Art Classroom where you can watch a discussion with Brook about what blue means, how it affects us, and how we can use it in our daily lives. Not a member yet? Click here to sign up! Get exclusive videos and downloads, and access to any new content we add!

We hope you enjoy learning more about blue, and remember, everyone is a masterpiece!

Feeling Blue? But Which Shade of Blue?

Posted on January 27, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

After the last blog post about using the color blue, we had a lot of questions come in about which blue a person should pick for themselves. “Do I pick a Saturated, Whitened, Grayed or Blackened blue if I’m going to surround myself with blue this season?”

In answer to that, here are two questions to ask yourself when you are picking any color.

Are you drawn to it?
Does it make you feel inspired when you put it close to you?

Are you drawn to it? If it were in a store, is it one of the first colors you see when you walk in, before you start to consider other options? Because we crave color, the color we are craving will grab our attention first and it will leave an impression. Pay attention to the impressions in our mind (or out loud) that pop up when we first see that particular color. That is good information.

Does it make you feel inspired when you put it close to you? We’ve talked about how sometimes we are drawn to our opposite; the same applies in color. Sometimes we are drawn to a color because it is our opposite. If that color were a person, we would want to take it to dinner and have a great conversation with it. That’s why you try it on. If it is a piece of wardrobe, like a shirt, it will feel frumpy on us if it is not our design. If it is something we want around us the feeling won’t be quite as dramatic, but will still have the same effect, so again just pay attention to the impressions it leaves when you put it close; that will tell you a lot.

Remember that we have all four of the designs in us, so we will want a little of all of them at one time or another, so pay attention to what is truly inspiring us in that moment.

Also remember that everyone is a masterpiece!

Brook

RELATED POSTS:
Jan. 14, 2020 – Are You Feeling Blue?