Category: Connect

The How and When of Reconnecting in a Pandemic–By Design

Photo by Artem Beliaikin from Pexels

We have been in the middle of a pandemic for several months now, and whether large or small, it has caused some change for all of us. One of the biggest changes has been in our ability and opportunity to connect with others. As things begin to slowly re-open around the country and world, we need to talk about how we can reconnect with others in a meaningful way. Now when it comes to the “when” in reconnecting in a pandemic, I will leave those answers to the experts who know best; but the “how” I am definitely comfortable taking a shot at!

Reconnecting during these challenging times is important because we have all, at some level, been forced to change the way or the amount of connecting with others from the way we used to do it several months ago. Our old normal is seemingly something of the past. We are left in a space to try to figure out the best ways to connect with those who are important to us, and those who are essential to our day to day care.

My best advice is to take into consideration the thought process of someone you are thinking about reconnecting to and move forward respecting those things that are important to their design. Though a lot has changed in this so called “new normal”, one thing that has stayed the same is someone’s design, and respecting the central focus of others’ designs when you reconnect is as relevant now as it has ever been.

Here are some tips:

If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Saturated Design, remember that their thought process is all or nothing, black and white. Because of this they might have a tendency to experience the pandemic in that same way. They will evaluate in a clear way the “all” part of all or nothing thinking first. All the threats that the pandemic brings. All the sanitation options. All the possible outcomes. For example, they will evaluate “is it dangerous/a threat or are we in the clear?” and then react accordingly. They might come across extreme, but it is really just their best way of making sure they keep “all” of those around them safe. They will take that very seriously. It is their way of serving and protecting.

When that is “all” done, they will move into the “nothing” stage and reconnect as if nothing is going to happen because they have covered “all” of their bases. To others it can look careless or uncaring but it is not, it is just a newfound confidence in their ability to reconnect to others while also keeping them safe.

–           –           –           –           –           –            –           –           –

If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Whitened Design, keep in mind that they want to enroll you in a social way, but are also anticipating your needs at the same time. Because the thought process of the Whitened design is social and they are interested in pleasing, they will pay attention and follow your lead when it comes to reconnecting, so communicating what will make you feel safe and happy will be very helpful. They might fire a lot of questions your way in an attempt to see where you are at so they might connect in that way. Some will see the questions as an attempt to cling but it is not; it is an attempt to get the “lay of the land” to determine how to move forward in a way that meets your needs not theirs.

For example, if a Whitened person asked how you were experiencing the pandemic and you responded with, “we are doing nothing, we are staying in our basement and only having food delivered,” they would then take that info, respect your way, and have food delivered to you as a way to reconnect but at the same time please in a healthy way.

–           –           –           –           –           –            –           –           –

If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Grayed Design, constantly process how hard change is on their thought process. They need the time and space to process all that is changing, and to analyze the best or optimal path to reconnecting and all that might come with that. Asking them what their thoughts are on different aspects of the pandemic is a great way to serve or reconnect with them, and then offer an ear to listen to their thoughts or analyze it with them. Leaving the interaction with encouraging words like, “give it some thought then let me know what you think,”  or, “we don’t have to do anything right now but let’s definitely keep talking about it,” is a great way to serve them.

–           –           –           –           –           –            –           –           –

If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Blackened Design, don’t forget that they are reasonable, but like realistic thinking. There will be some things about reconnecting that seem practical to them, and some that do not. They need it to be pragmatic to incorporate it into the reconnection process, so if they are not buying into something that makes you feel safe, just tell them in real and honest words why it is important to you. They love to protect, so if you tell them why it seems reasonable to you, they will be your biggest advocate. Too many times we just accept their first response and don’t give them the honest debate. We walk away feeling misunderstood, when in reality we just didn’t give them the information in a Blackened way so they could respond. They most likely would have.

 

So moving back into life, wherever you are and whatever you circumstances, when you are thinking about all that is needed to reconnect make sure you also spend a little time thinking about others and how they might be experiencing this phase as well. You need it, they need it, and we all need to stay safe.

And remember everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Photo by fauxels from Pexels

 

Healthy Collaboration by Design

At Human Art we like to spend time on the skill of learning how to collaborate in healthy ways. There are a handful of tools that can lead to this very thing; but having the discipline to stay in it is a little harder to navigate.

In our quick fix and instant information world (that can be a blessing and a curse), we sometimes let that discipline slip and we move to something else that will lead to immediate soothing, rather than relying on the good old-fashioned hard work of staying in a conversation with another human until we get to a healthy place with each other.

Photo Source: Pexels.com

To add to the sometimes slow pace of working on healthy collaborations, each design has a different way they prefer to collaborate. In other words, what seems healthy to one person might not be preferred to the other person in a conversation. It would do us all good to slow down and take into consideration each design and what is important to their form of communications.

You will notice that if you are not paying attention to the thought process and design preference of the other person or persons that you engage with in a collaboration, the exchanges become more and more frustrating and less and less productive as the conversation goes on. If you notice some “can be’s” showing up, you will know that you have gotten off track.

Here is a simple guide to recognize if we’re off track:

⇒When talking to a predominantly Saturated person and they suddenly appear distant or aloof…you have most likely gotten off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Grayed person and they suddenly appear avoidant…you have most likely gotten off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Whitened person and they suddenly appear random or obnoxious… again, you’re probably off track.

⇒ When talking to a predominantly Blackened person and they suddenly appear overly sarcastic and sometimes even mocking…probably off track.

As you go through the next few weeks, make an effort to bring healthy collaborations back into your social interactions. Look for signs that the conversation could be off track and move to curiosity and deeper understanding of the person or persons you are communication with (and ideally, they are doing the same for you).

It will be worth your while—you’re worth it and so are your relationships. And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

-Brook

For more about the topic of working to understand the other person’s design, read our related posts below!

 

RELATED POSTS:

Put it on a Shelf: See Things from the Other Perspective
Celebrate Others: Step Out of Your Design
Listen Like You’re Watching a You Tube Video

 

What Does a Blackened Person Need When We Come to the Table?

We are days away from Thanksgiving and we can all feel the buzz softly starting, as if the time to come around the table is just a few hours away. Wherever you go you can find others doing last minute preparations so that we can just get to that great day already! Before we do, we need to make sure all our tasks are taken care of and our lists are all checked off. Extra attention to our last-minute planning will lead to a more rewarding Thanksgiving day and has the possibility of creating strong and memorable moments and stories.

This Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, if we pay attention to a few “what, where, when, and how’s,” we will have a great time when we are all together. Whether the day runs smoothly or runs into chaos, this attention can determine how fond the memories might be. Making it run smoothly is determined in the tasks that we take care of ahead of time in the next few days.

Tasks are the strength of the Blackened Design so this week let’s talk about what is important to those close to us that are Blackened.

Photo Source: 123rf

Five Things a Blackened Person is Grateful For When We Come to the Table:

  1.  Be on time. Start when you say the dinner will start.
  2.  Be resourceful with time and resources. Waste is frustrating to a Blackened person.
  3.  Create casual spaces with all the excess the holidays can bring. Have a ball game playing in another room, a relaxing game of pool or a good show that can provide a casual escape from all the intensity of holiday celebrating.
  4. Good old dry wit or sarcasm is a great form of play for the Blackened design. When conversations feel too stuffy it makes them feel uncomfortable.
  5. Be real with them. Honesty is key.

So mark off all the tasks on your list and then enjoy having honest conversations and building relationships that are worthy of memories. BE GRATEFUL, and remember,

everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

 

RELATED POSTS: 

11.5.19 What Does a Saturated Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.14.19 What Does a Whitened Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.19.19 What Does a Grayed Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.6.18 Thanksgiving: Who’s Coming to Dinner?

What Does a Grayed Person Need When We Come to the Table?

When we think of the Holiday Season we are well served to focus on traditions. They provide a thread of connection but can also play a crucial role in securing relationships. Those events, dynamics, and interactions that are the same each time the season comes around give us something to look forward to and provide a dream or event to romanticize the season. If we could take a space of time to stop and ponder on the meaning that each tradition holds for us personally, it will enhance our connections as we come to the table as the holidays unfold.

At Thanksgiving time, as we anticipate coming around the table with those we love, keep in mind the people you want to connect with. If we have a desire to connect at a deeper level or just to get

Photo Source: 123rf

to know someone even better, we are well served to focus on the details of the connection. A healthy back and forth that leads to sharing and lending is a good place to start when wanting to find out new details of someone you might be sitting next to or someone who is new to the table. When focusing on details of friendships old and new, or family ties from way back when or more recent, everyone loves to bond through getting to know each other on a deeper level.

Details are the strength of the Grayed design, so this week, let’s talk about what is important to those close to us that are Grayed.

Five Things a Grayed Person is Grateful for When we Come to the Table:

1. Providing thorough instructions about what is going to unfold (down to the smallest detail, like when to come to the table, where to sit, when to start eating and what will come next and at what point would you like me do that…).

2. Smaller connections and conversations are more rewarding. Even in a big group, a smaller subgroup is better.

3. Leave time to take it all in. Rushing through things takes away from the interaction and enjoyment of the experience.

4.  In conversations, don’t always move too quickly, or look for an immediate answer. Allowing time to process is key.

5. Leave a space for the Grayed to move continuously through the dinner or event. Connect the activities so it feels fluid. If it is right after dinner sipping on hot cider, or as we anticipate the end of the event, slow it all down to think back on all that has taken place.

If we take a few minutes of careful planning to make sure that these things are considered when entertaining our Grayed loved ones, it will insure a better interaction, a deeper connection, and strengthen the future experiences we have with each Grayed person.

Happy Holidays and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

 

RELATED POSTS: 

11.5.19 What Does a Saturated Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.14.19 What Does a Whitened Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.6.18 Thanksgiving: Who’s Coming to Dinner?

What Does a Whitened Person Need When We Come to the Table?

The holiday season is upon us and we are creating social events and offering invitations. Socializing is one of the best ways to renew our relationships with those we love. It protects relationships from getting stale. It breeds life and progress into relationships and helps them move along. When you really evaluate it, we do most of our interacting with others in social settings.

The holidays are a great time to focus on our friendships, old and new, and get to know each other at a deeper level. It provides many opportunities to play and laugh with others. Socializing happens at those holiday parties when we come together as families, co-workers, and neighbors, but those are not the only times we will find ourselves socializing this holiday season. It is any time or event that we personally deem a “social” situation. For example, it could be a meeting, but we deem it social in our mind. These are also places we have opportunities to get to know each other better.

As we come around the table on Thanksgiving Day, as well as other times, it is how we interact with each other in our social circles that either provides growth or becomes a barrier to further interactions and bonding.

This week let’s talk about what is important to those close to us that are Whitened.

Photo Source: 123rf

Five things that a Whitened person is grateful for when we all come to the table:

  1. Enrolling everyone that is in our social circles
  2. Spontaneity is key
  3. Anticipate each other’s needs and show up with fun surprises that matter
  4. Laughter and light-hearted interactions
  5. Flexibility and curiosity to just see where things will take you

If we take a few minutes to make sure these things are considered when entertaining our Whitened loved ones, it will insure a better interaction and a deeper bond.

Happy holidays and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

 

RELATED POSTS: 

11.5.19 What Does a Saturated Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.6.18 Thanksgiving: Who’s Coming to Dinner?