The How and When of Reconnecting in a Pandemic–By Design

We have been in the middle of a pandemic for several months now, and whether large or small, it has caused some change for all of us. One of the biggest changes has been in our ability and opportunity to connect with others. As things begin to slowly re-open around the country and world, we need to talk about how we can reconnect with others in a meaningful way. Now when it comes to the “when” in reconnecting in a pandemic, I will leave those answers to the experts who know best; but the “how” I am definitely comfortable taking a shot at!

Reconnecting during these challenging times is important because we have all, at some level, been forced to change the way or the amount of connecting with others from the way we used to do it several months ago. Our old normal is seemingly something of the past. We are left in a space to try to figure out the best ways to connect with those who are important to us, and those who are essential to our day to day care.

My best advice is to take into consideration the thought process of someone you are thinking about reconnecting to and move forward respecting those things that are important to their design. Though a lot has changed in this so called “new normal”, one thing that has stayed the same is someone’s design, and respecting the central focus of others’ designs when you reconnect is as relevant now as it has ever been.

Here are some tips:

If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Saturated Design, remember that their thought process is all or nothing, black and white. Because of this they might have a tendency to experience the pandemic in that same way. They will evaluate in a clear way the “all” part of all or nothing thinking first. All the threats that the pandemic brings. All the sanitation options. All the possible outcomes. For example, they will evaluate “is it dangerous/a threat or are we in the clear?” and then react accordingly. They might come across extreme, but it is really just their best way of making sure they keep “all” of those around them safe. They will take that very seriously. It is their way of serving and protecting.

When that is “all” done, they will move into the “nothing” stage and reconnect as if nothing is going to happen because they have covered “all” of their bases. To others it can look careless or uncaring but it is not, it is just a newfound confidence in their ability to reconnect to others while also keeping them safe.

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If you are reconnecting with someone who is high in the Whitened Design, keep in mind that they want to enroll you in a social way, but are also anticipating your needs at the same time. Because the thought process of the Whitened design is social and they are interested in pleasing, they will pay attention and follow your lead when it comes to reconnecting, so communicating what will make you feel safe and happy will be very helpful. They might fire a lot of questions your way in an attempt to see where you are at so they might connect in that way. Some will see the questions as an attempt to cling but it is not; it is an attempt to get the “lay of the land” to determine how to move forward in a way that meets your needs not theirs.

For example, if a Whitened person asked how you were experiencing the pandemic and you responded with, “we are doing nothing, we are staying in our basement and only having food delivered,” they would then take that info, respect your way, and have food delivered to you as a way to reconnect but at the same time please in a healthy way.

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If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Grayed Design, constantly process how hard change is on their thought process. They need the time and space to process all that is changing, and to analyze the best or optimal path to reconnecting and all that might come with that. Asking them what their thoughts are on different aspects of the pandemic is a great way to serve or reconnect with them, and then offer an ear to listen to their thoughts or analyze it with them. Leaving the interaction with encouraging words like, “give it some thought then let me know what you think,”  or, “we don’t have to do anything right now but let’s definitely keep talking about it,” is a great way to serve them.

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If you are trying to reconnect with someone who is high in the Blackened Design, don’t forget that they are reasonable, but like realistic thinking. There will be some things about reconnecting that seem practical to them, and some that do not. They need it to be pragmatic to incorporate it into the reconnection process, so if they are not buying into something that makes you feel safe, just tell them in real and honest words why it is important to you. They love to protect, so if you tell them why it seems reasonable to you, they will be your biggest advocate. Too many times we just accept their first response and don’t give them the honest debate. We walk away feeling misunderstood, when in reality we just didn’t give them the information in a Blackened way so they could respond. They most likely would have.

So moving back into life, wherever you are and whatever you circumstances, when you are thinking about all that is needed to reconnect make sure you also spend a little time thinking about others and how they might be experiencing this phase as well. You need it, they need it, and we all need to stay safe.

And remember everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook