I remember when I was young there was a certain guy in our neighborhood. He was full of integrity and was the guy always there to help your family when asked. When I was at school I found the same thing; that guy that was always the helpful, trustworthy guy. Later, in my career, I again found the same thing. It didn’t matter where I worked, a different version of “that guy” seemed to always show up. Now in my life there are several of them and as we meet with clients we see it again and again; “that guy” that just seems to know what to do, in his own way.
Someone brought to my attention the other day that as they were observing men—on television, ones they are acquainted with etc.—that their perception of men had been de-valued in some way. My response was, “WHAT?! Have you never met “that guy?” You know, the one in your neighborhood; the one with integrity who is always there, always helpful?” It made me realize that we possibly could be missing them, and not seeing them for who they are. Are we not looking anymore, did we forget to see them for who they are, or has their role and the importance of their role just been diminished? As if we don’t need that “stand-up guy” anymore? Oh yes we do! And yes he is still there in our neighborhoods and at our schools and in the work place. We just need to acknowledge him again. So find him. Notice him. And if you’re a guy, BE him!
Here are a few hints how:
Find your own personal attractiveness—your complete attractiveness. There are 2 parts to complete attractiveness. One: physical attractiveness. Two: true attractiveness that consists of all your strengths character and talents. I believe it is impossible to have the first without the second. Once you have found this complete attractiveness, use it for good. Every guy has weaknesses but you can use the strengths from your design to overcome them. Be the man you were intended to be.
A Saturated Man
He is strong and in control. He is introverted and clear. He can think clearly and find the priority in any situation. He is observant and is often looking for a better way. Being a hard worker starts mentally for him. He is driven by quality and usually has one to three most important facts or priorities in any situation and he sticks to them. Those facts are the driving force in everything he does.
His physical attractiveness is often described as sleek, striking, manicured, and sophisticated. He has a flare for high fashion but does it in a simple and appropriate way. He tends to like simple, but it still needs to be quality.
A Whitened Man
He is enrolling. He works hard and tends to bring everyone along with him. The more people that get involved the harder he works. He is extroverted and his emotional intelligence is often high. He makes people feel important and can do that because people are important to him. He tends to truly care for others and uses his spontaneity to take care of those he cares for. He is very easy going and can be teaching you and pushing you for the better all while it feels like your just having a light conversation. He is social and loves change.
His physical attractiveness can be described as inviting, yet strong. He is youthful and full of life and energy. He has a style that changes. There is often a little avant-garde to his look. He can pull off trends and can mix things up and it looks amazing. The more movement he has the more masculine he becomes.
A Grayed Man
Describing a Grayed guy is in the details. He is methodical and the details matter. He is meticulous, so no stone goes unturned. He takes care of all the details but it is done first in his head. He will consider all the options and contingencies before making a decision and acting on it so when he does something it is well planned.
His physical attractiveness is refined and well put together. He loves the finer things, especially the small details, when it comes to his appearance. He is understated but always put together. He likes to blend in but when he does that right he tends to stand out because he makes blending in look so good.
A Blackened Man
A Blackened man is the “get ‘er done” guy. His attractiveness is in the fact that he will just fix it. He tends to be very physical. He is extroverted in a very real way. He would rather just get to work on something than analyze it. He can think quickly on his feet and tends to be very resourceful. He creates solutions in a practical way. He is very straight forward and tends to tell it like it is which is very refreshing because he can do it in a warm way. He tends to be very approachable in a pragmatic way.
His physical look is casual and natural. He loves to look good but in a casual or rich way. He leans towards earthy and natural looks. The more natural and exotic the better he looks.
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Each man has his own version of attractiveness. It doesn’t look like any others. Look for it. Don’t pass it by. Just because we don’t see it right away doesn’t mean it is not there. If we look for these great strengths in authentic ways we will start to see they have been there all along. Right beside us. Working to be that guy. The very ones I saw when I was young. The very ones that are still there in the work place and in our communities. And if you are that guy, stand tall and do good! Do it in a way no one but you can. You will truly affect others and change lives. Take away any doubt that there are truly great guys out there because there are a lot of them. Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.
As only a 5 year old can, she narrated how we judge ourselves so often. Male or female we all do it. It is amazing that we make it that simple. Only a five year old has the courage or innocence to just blurt it out, but we all sometimes inwardly believe it at times. Is it really that easy that, depending on how we feel about ourselves in that moment, we can be inadequate one minute and amazing the next; only seconds lies between being on the bottom and then on top of the world.
For some reason we have forgotten to look at each human being in this same way. People are masterpieces that we come upon or experience in life as if we are entering their space in a museum. They touch us on an emotional level. The lines and colors in their bodies—their unique compositions—communicate to us. Have we forgotten to look at them with the same open eyes that we have when we pass through the doors of an art museum? Do we feel the anticipation of finding that connection deep inside in response to each person’s own beauty? Or have we learned in some way to pass by and discount them in a search for that ultimate personification of “beauty”—as if all humans were pieces in an exhibit, but only one truly great piece of art existed? We need to open our eyes to see the art and beauty in every human being. We are each truly unique, a masterpiece. We are all imprints of many frequencies, and we leave that emotional imprint of our beauty wherever we go. No one will every experience anything just like us again.
When I see someone new, perhaps I’ll love and appreciate her beauty. Or maybe I just won’t understand it. I am not alone. Most of us don’t understand the beauty we find in others. We don’t recognize the masterpieces we encounter each day. We lack the information, skills or rules to interpret them. We don’t know their “equations”. Just as solving math or chemistry problems is impossible without understanding the rules, in art—especially Human Art—we as a society have reached a point of discounting what we can’t comprehend merely because we lack the tools and rules to do so.