As I said last week, an “inner conflict” is just like the difficult dynamics that can occur between totally different designs; but instead of a different person, it is a conflict with the differences in your own predominant design and your secondary designs. It is literally a fight with yourself.
We talked about how that inner conflict can look for a person who is dominantly Saturated, let’s talk this week about the Whitened design.
Some of you are high in the Whitened design, others might have a strong influence in it, yet others might just have a little bit. No matter what the case is, let’s talk about how it shows up. It is important to remember the central focus of the Whitened design is social; so enrolling others in their life is important to them. They love to anticipate others’ needs and a big part of that dynamic is that the people they interact with are happy. If the Whitened design can please those around them, they find joy. They still have boundaries and limits if they are healthy, but they are very patient and are often willing to stay in a growing and learning dynamic for a long time. They seem to tolerate it well. They are pleasant and don’t seem to have agendas along the way.
Whitened with an Influence of Saturated
The inner conflict of a design high in Whitened with a Saturated influence is that the Whitened wants to please others and enroll them, but when it gets too complicated the Saturated part of their design sometimes gets overwhelmed and wants to disconnect in an attempt to get some space. The Whitened can morph well to others and what they are doing, but it confuses the Saturated part of their design. It has the potential to leave that person lost as what to do. The Saturated wants to assess any violations in relationships with others to stay safe, and the Whitened wants to forgive—so it leads to an inner conflict. The Whitened stays safe through forgiveness and the Saturated stays safe through order, so it can be a challenge finding balance between the two.
Whitened with an Influence of Grayed
The Whitened wants to be free to move here and there in relationships quickly, and can start where people are at. They can jump in wherever the person they care about is and just move from there. The Grayed needs more information first so they know how to ease in, and they enjoy a slower pace. The inner conflict shows up right there. The Whitened part of the design creates safety by their willingness to go where others need them to go to give support, where the Grayed creates safety through being cautious.
Whitened with an Influence of Blackened
The Whitened has no guile and no agenda so, again, someone high in Whitened will navigate their life with that as their guide. The Blackened, however, is all about agendas, which is usually tasks and a “get ‘r done” approach, so the inner conflict is where to put their energy. Do I create spontaneity and have adventures in that “no agenda” way, or do I just get what needs to be done, DONE? The inner conflict is that each design has strong emotions on what is the most credible and it can become a fight inside. The Whitened creates safety by making those around them feel safe as they are moving through tasks, while the Blackened creates safety through the structure of the tasks.
You can see that there is great potential for inner conflicts to overwhelm a person, but don’t let them. Just be mindful of the way the different designs navigate life and roll with it. It is where you will do your best work—by letting an amount of all of them do their magic. It is where your success lies. We need to use some of all four, because we were made with some of all the designs. It is important to acknowledge them all in the amounts that we have them. That is the very thing that makes each human unique. And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.
~Brook
RELATED POSTS:
Design Inner Conflict: The Saturated Design
Design Inner Conflict: The Grayed Design
Design Inner Conflict: The Blackened Design