Navigating and learning to settle our inner conflict is important because it dictates how we solve problems and interact with others. Often, we are not aware of how much our inner conflict gets externalized onto others. Understanding what is going on within ourselves will help us to appropriately navigate those conflicts so we can be successful with ourselves as well as with others.
We’ve already covered what inner conflicts might look like for the Saturated, Whitened, and Grayed designs, so let’s finish off this series by talking about the Blackened.
The Blackened personality likes to line up their boxes each day so they can be efficient with their time. Each box becomes a task and a strong expectation. For example, two boxes may have the same priority at the same time. It is difficult for the Blackened to figure out which one is the most important. Logically, it is hard to bump one of the priorities to second place. This produces a lot of strong emotion. Again, this emotion can get displaced onto others.
Blackened with an Influence of Saturated
If you have a person who is Blackened first with a strong Saturated second, the inner conflict will be over when to move out to do a task. The Blackened is already moving to fix it but the Saturated wants to wait until the task can be done in a quality way. It is not a “start-stop” as much as it looks like a stop. The Saturated stops it but the Blackened is trying to low-key get done what it can while the Saturated is figuring out the quality standard.
Blackened with an Influence of Whitened
If you have a person who is primary Blackened with a strong Whitened second, the inner conflict can be intense. The Blackened’s goal is to get things done. The Whitened is fine with that but it wants to bring people along and socialize it. The Blackened wants people to be working and the Whitened wants to make sure that people are having fun. The inner conflict is, “do I value their work ethic, or do I value how much fun they are having?” It sounds like, “He is a lot of fun but he is not a hard worker,” or “He is a hard worker but he is not fun to be around.”
Blackened with an Influence of Grayed
If you have a Blackened person with a strong Grayed second, the inner conflict is avoidance, because the Grayed part dictates whether the job gets done or not. The Blackened knows immediately what needs to be done. The grayed needs to get the details of the job. If the Grayed cannot get the right details, it goes into avoidance mode. The Blackened criticizes the Grayed for not having the strength to just get it done.
If you have any Blackened in your personality, you will relate to these inner conflicts. A good skill is to put a few “flexibility boxes” into your day and use them to connect with people. The likelihood of all of your boxes happening the way you think they should is a lot lower than you anticipate. So those flexibility boxes create a space for the secondary designs to meet needs.
Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.
-Brook
RELATED POSTS:
Design Inner Conflict: The Saturated Design
Design Inner Conflict: The Whitened Design
Design Inner Conflict: The Grayed Design