Author: Brook Thornley

Human Art for Men: Basic Characteristics

Posted on by Brook Thornley
Saturated
Visual Characteristics
Striking, Vivid, Polished, Exclusive
 
Thinking
Decisive, Disciplined, Influential, Competent
Whitened
Visual Characteristics
Radiant, Friendly, Avant Garde, Trendy
 
Thinking
Spontaneous, Trustful, Sense of Humor, Teasing, Comforting, Adventurous
Grayed
Visual Characteristics
Refined, Subtle, Dreamy, Mysterious, Lavish
 
Thinking
Complex, Sensitive, Cultured, Perceptive, Idealistic
Blackened
Visual Characteristics
Physical, Strong, Vital, Powerful, Exciting
 
Thinking
Direct, Candid, Efficient, Stable, Practical

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(For more detailed descriptions and characteristics of each design, click here.) 
 

Human Art for Men: The Really Great Guy

Posted on by Brook Thornley

How many times in any given situation do you find yourself saying, “I wish I could find just a really great guy.” It could be because you are looking for a good guy to help fix something, someone to have a relationship with, or simply a friend. Or maybe you need a man’s perspective and you need someone you can trust, or maybe you are looking for a good leader. In all of these cases we ask ourselves, “but who?” In this fast-paced social media and electronic driven society it might be less of a guessing game and more of a “looking for the right facts” kind of a scenario.

When talking to some of the men we work with we asked them this question: “How do you find or become a really great guy?”

Some of them presented an interesting scenario. They said that society today tends to portray men in a weaker light. Some television shows and movies portray them as irresponsible in general instead of taking the time to evaluate them individually based on just them and their authentic self.

I thought about that. Some movies build men up to be superheroes and others (now that I’m paying attention to this theory) tend to emasculate them. So, to be fair, there is evidence of both.

But I propose we look at the middle of this spectrum. Maybe we are forgetting to give the everyday, just really good guy his due. Maybe we have been so caught up in the fascination of the extreme ends of the spectrum that we might have lost a little of our ability to judge just a really great guy.

In the middle is more about what is real. Really great guys all have their own masculinity. They have individual attractiveness and individual styles that can be defined and measured. They also have inner attractiveness that I think is the true attractiveness. I’ve told the story so many times about meeting my husband and when I defined his attractiveness that so caught my eye I described it to my family as, “strong and mysterious.” True attractiveness that he has always had and always will have. It doesn’t age. It just develops stronger with time.

Look around. Find these men. Look for their attractiveness and start discovering it little by little and, please please tell them! Point it out when you see those traits that make him a really great guy.

Human Art for Men is a place where you can go to learn about how to look for traits of a really good guy. It will also help in those moments when that really great guy might be struggling. No matter how great we are, we all have challenges. It will also help really great guys define themselves and give them information and articles on how to use your authentic strengths to navigate some of those challenges. They can also receive tips in fashion trends as well.

At the end of the day, if you believe that men are being unfairly portrayed in any way, don’t accept it. Our destiny as far as our culture and history is up to us to define and decide what road it takes. To decide what’s acceptable and what is not. It is our book to write and I say we write it in honor of that really good guy we know. The dad that always comes through, the one that stops to fix your tire when no one else will, or that guy at work or school that is a good leader and example. Identify those traits. Acknowledge them and, by all means, celebrate them! Remember, every one is a masterpiece.

Discover Your Attractiveness: Be “That Guy”

Posted on by Brook Thornley

I remember when I was young there was a certain guy in our neighborhood. He was full of integrity and was the guy always there to help your family when asked. When I was at school I found the same thing; that guy that was always the helpful, trustworthy guy. Later, in my career, I again found the same thing. It didn’t matter where I worked, a different version of “that guy” seemed to always show up. Now in my life there are several of them and as we meet with clients we see it again and again; “that guy” that just seems to know what to do, in his own way.

Someone brought to my attention the other day that as they were observing men—on television, ones they are acquainted with etc.—that their perception of men had been de-valued in some way. My response was, “WHAT?! Have you never met “that guy?” You know, the one in your neighborhood; the one with integrity who is always there, always helpful?” It made me realize that we possibly could be missing them, and not seeing them for who they are. Are we not looking anymore, did we forget to see them for who they are, or has their role and the importance of their role just been diminished? As if we don’t need that “stand-up guy” anymore? Oh yes we do! And yes he is still there in our neighborhoods and at our schools and in the work place. We just need to acknowledge him again. So find him. Notice him. And if you’re a guy, BE him!

Here are a few hints how:

Find your own personal attractiveness—your complete attractiveness. There are 2 parts to complete attractiveness. One: physical attractiveness. Two: true attractiveness that consists of all your strengths character and talents. I believe it is impossible to have the first without the second. Once you have found this complete attractiveness, use it for good. Every guy has weaknesses but you can use the strengths from your design to overcome them. Be the man you were intended to be.

A Saturated Man
He is strong and in control. He is introverted and clear. He can think clearly and find the priority in any situation. He is observant and is often looking for a better way. Being a hard worker starts mentally for him. He is driven by quality and usually has one to three most important facts or priorities in any situation and he sticks to them. Those facts are the driving force in everything he does.

His physical attractiveness is often described as sleek, striking, manicured, and sophisticated. He has a flare for high fashion but does it in a simple and appropriate way. He tends to like simple, but it still needs to be quality.

A Whitened Man
He is enrolling. He works hard and tends to bring everyone along with him. The more people that get involved the harder he works. He is extroverted and his emotional intelligence is often high. He makes people feel important and can do that because people are important to him. He tends to truly care for others and uses his spontaneity to take care of those he cares for. He is very easy going and can be teaching you and pushing you for the better all while it feels like your just having a light conversation. He is social and loves change.

His physical attractiveness can be described as inviting, yet strong. He is youthful and full of life and energy. He has a style that changes. There is often a little avant-garde to his look. He can pull off trends and can mix things up and it looks amazing. The more movement he has the more masculine he becomes.

A Grayed Man
Describing a Grayed guy is in the details. He is methodical and the details matter. He is meticulous, so no stone goes unturned.  He takes care of all the details but it is done first in his head. He will consider all the options and contingencies before making a decision and acting on it so when he does something it is well planned.

His physical attractiveness is refined and well put together. He loves the finer things, especially the small details, when it comes to his appearance. He is understated but always put together. He likes to blend in but when he does that right he tends to stand out because he makes blending in look so good.

A Blackened Man
A Blackened man is the “get ‘er done” guy. His attractiveness is in the fact that he will just fix it. He tends to be very physical. He is extroverted in a very real way. He would rather just get to work on something than analyze it. He can think quickly on his feet and tends to be very resourceful. He creates solutions in a practical way. He is very straight forward and tends to tell it like it is which is very refreshing because he can do it in a warm way. He tends to be very approachable in a pragmatic way.

His physical look is casual and natural. He loves to look good but in a casual or rich way. He leans towards earthy and natural looks. The more natural and exotic the better he looks.

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Each man has his own version of attractiveness. It doesn’t look like any others. Look for it. Don’t pass it by. Just because we don’t see it right away doesn’t mean it is not there. If we look for these great strengths in authentic ways we will start to see they have been there all along. Right beside us. Working to be that guy. The very ones I saw when I was young. The very ones that are still there in the work place and in our communities. And if you are that guy, stand tall and do good! Do it in a way no one but you can. You will truly affect others and change lives. Take away any doubt that there are truly great guys out there because there are a lot of them. Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

 

Celebrate Others: Step Out of Your Design

Posted on by Brook Thornley

When Rod asked me to marry him years ago I was so excited. I remember the day well. We had a conversation that night and I told him I would marry him as long as he understood that our designs were completely opposite (he is Blackened and Grayed and I am Saturated-Whitened.). Because we were on opposite ends of the spectrum, we would never draw the same conclusion on anything. We would always have to both give a little and come to a third conclusion that we could both agree on (we got married so obviously we were both fine with that).

It is amazing how true it has turned out to be. Needing to find that third solution really has been the case over the years. One of the important aspects of that scenario and making it work is celebrating each other’s designs. I mean truly celebrating each other’s designs.

In order to truly celebrate you have to completely step out of your own design. Think for a moment about when two friends go shopping together. One picks out a shirt and says “look how cute this is!” The other one thinks to herself “not for me,” and then proceeds to hold up the one she picked out and says, “Look, this one is so much cuter!” Couples often go shopping together. Don’t do it! The woman often picks out the suit that is her design and the man picks out the dress he would look amazing in if he were a woman—which is not necessarily what the other person would choose for themselves.

When we are interacting with anyone but ourselves, they are simply not like us; they have a different makeup. The key is to take yourself and your ways of thinking completely out of the picture; put them on a shelf for a minute. Then start using curiosity and discovery to celebrate and truly understand the person you are with. It is really like being an investigator.

Each week we discuss relationships with different people. Some spouses, some siblings, some friends, and even co-workers. At the end of the day, it is usually clear that one of the barriers in these relationships is not celebrating each other. If you want to be healthy and want to interact with others in a way that is healthy it is very important to truly be present. Believe their emotions; don’t correct them based on your design and how you think. If someone is willing to be vulnerable and open up to you it’s a gift. Listen to how it looks to them and then find truth in it. Even in scenarios that are or feel irrational there is most often a shred of truth in them. Put your design on the shelf for a moment and try to see it from their side.

We are all so different but, just like Rod and I have had to do over the years, find the other person’s perspective, understand it, and then celebrate it. Make them feel amazing for how they are and how they think. You will be surprised how fast they begin to overlap and start doing the same for you. It is truly important to celebrate others because, remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

When Opposites Attract

Posted on by Brook Thornley

Opposite colors on the color wheel when set side by side have the ability to enhance each other. For example, the colors blue and orange. The blue appears more blue when placed next to orange, and vice versa. So if I were designing a table setting and I wanted to enhance the fact that the table was orange I would simply put its opposite, blue, as a centerpiece and now the orange appears really orange next to the blue or vice versa.

It is the same in relationships. Let’s say blue and orange were people. They got together and formed a relationship. Blue was really attracted to orange because of the traits orange possesses. Orange is vibrant, alive and social. It holds all the attributes that blue does not, so naturally blue is drawn to orange and seeks it out. Blue on the other hand holds all the characteristics that orange does not. It is intangible and serene. It is calm and has the ability to depress any situation (in design the word depress means to defuse or soften or take it down a notch when something is unbearable and make it bearable again). It is sedate and secure. So naturally orange would be very drawn to blue and seek it out.

Using the fact that opposite colors attract in design is so often helpful and doesn’t have many challenges but when it comes to relationships it is a different story. The potential problem lies in the fact that we are very drawn to our opposite design in any relationship, but when we get close as humans it is in our nature to then, in some way, deem them ours. We use phrases like my friend or my husband or my sibling. Once we have deemed them ours we start the process of turning them into us; as though they are a reflection of ourselves.

Do you know what happens in design when blue tries to take over orange and change it into blue or vice versa? They cancel each other out. You are left with a flat, dull, neutral color. Great color still but all of the passion and excitement is gone. The same thing happens in relationships.

Take Rod and myself. When I met him the first thing I noticed was his attractiveness. He was strong and mysterious. Now 26 years into a marriage I have the potential (if I were to compare him to myself) to accuse him of being stubborn and withdrawn. They are the same traits as strong and mysterious but compared to my design I just view them completely different now, yet nothing has changed with him.  He saw me at first as alive and enrolling. Now 26 years later compared to him he could view me as going all the time and over-enrolling. Again, same traits but it all is in how we look at it.

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Opposite colors on the color wheel in each design.

It is so important to seek help or understanding if there is a problem in a relationship, but first step back and ask yourself if any of it is just simply in how we are looking at the differences. Remember that some of those differences are the very things that attracted you to that person in the first place s treat them with respect and understanding. If you start from the value that each trait holds it can lead to understanding of both people in a relationship.

So let orange be orange and let it strengthen us socially. Let blue be blue and let it help us be calm and creative. Let all the people in your important relationships be free to be who they are and free to enhance us to be better human beings. That insight into who they are authentically is one of the best gifts you can give someone close to you. Honor their design. Celebrate who they are. Because remember, everyone is a masterpiece!