How many times in any given situation do you find yourself saying, “I wish I could find just a really great guy.” It could be because you are looking for a good guy to help fix something, someone to have a relationship with, or simply a friend. Or maybe you need a man’s perspective and you need someone you can trust, or maybe you are looking for a good leader. In all of these cases we ask ourselves, “but who?” In this fast-paced social media and electronic driven society it might be less of a guessing game and more of a “looking for the right facts” kind of a scenario.
When talking to some of the men we work with we asked them this question: “How do you find or become a really great guy?”
Some of them presented an interesting scenario. They said that society today tends to portray men in a weaker light. Some television shows and movies portray them as irresponsible in general instead of taking the time to evaluate them individually based on just them and their authentic self.
I thought about that. Some movies build men up to be superheroes and others (now that I’m paying attention to this theory) tend to emasculate them. So, to be fair, there is evidence of both.
But I propose we look at the middle of this spectrum. Maybe we are forgetting to give the everyday, just really good guy his due. Maybe we have been so caught up in the fascination of the extreme ends of the spectrum that we might have lost a little of our ability to judge just a really great guy.
In the middle is more about what is real. Really great guys all have their own masculinity. They have individual attractiveness and individual styles that can be defined and measured. They also have inner attractiveness that I think is the true attractiveness. I’ve told the story so many times about meeting my husband and when I defined his attractiveness that so caught my eye I described it to my family as, “strong and mysterious.” True attractiveness that he has always had and always will have. It doesn’t age. It just develops stronger with time.
Look around. Find these men. Look for their attractiveness and start discovering it little by little and, please please tell them! Point it out when you see those traits that make him a really great guy.
Human Art for Men is a place where you can go to learn about how to look for traits of a really good guy. It will also help in those moments when that really great guy might be struggling. No matter how great we are, we all have challenges. It will also help really great guys define themselves and give them information and articles on how to use your authentic strengths to navigate some of those challenges. They can also receive tips in fashion trends as well.
At the end of the day, if you believe that men are being unfairly portrayed in any way, don’t accept it. Our destiny as far as our culture and history is up to us to define and decide what road it takes. To decide what’s acceptable and what is not. It is our book to write and I say we write it in honor of that really good guy we know. The dad that always comes through, the one that stops to fix your tire when no one else will, or that guy at work or school that is a good leader and example. Identify those traits. Acknowledge them and, by all means, celebrate them! Remember, every one is a masterpiece.