Category: Authentic Self

Bloom Where You Are Planted…In Your Unique Design

Posted on by Brook Thornley

One of my favorite sayings is “bloom where you are planted.” It’s an old one but I never get tired of it. I guess it’s because it works. To me it means you can succeed in any situation no matter where you are or what the challenge is. I think in every point in life it feels like there is a test or a trial to be faced. That is why this well used saying works for me. It serves as a reminder. It works every time.

There are a few things required in order to “bloom where you are planted.”

First, use discovery to assess the conditions in which you are planted. Use discovery and collect all the accurate information you can about your situation.  Look around you (kind of like a detective would).

Delete fear. Future threats and past failures tend to worry us and make us afraid. Take them out of your discovery process and truly look at what is going on right now, in the moment. For example, maybe you find yourself currently in a big mud pit of life (or possibly a small one that feels more like an inconvenience). Look around and see what is going on. What is available and how you could move forward right now? Take out unrealistic expectations; sometimes we just have to do the next best thing. That’s good enough and reasonable.

Second, use your authentic gifts and talents. To get us out and actually blooming, just plug them right in. If you know who you are, you will know what to do. If you still struggle defining who you are, start there. Look for your authentic traits, get to know them and try them out. Going back to the example of being stuck in the mud, pick one trait and plug it in to that situation. For example, maybe you are a “get ‘er done” person. So you just start moving, then you start shoveling. The next thing you know you have dug yourself out and created a nice hole for a foundation to be poured and something new can be built.

Third, celebrate your accomplishments. Acknowledge them with gratitude. A feeling of gratitude always makes us happy and actually releases good chemicals in our body.

Each design has its own talents and strengths. Look at where you are planted right now, at this very moment in your life. What does it really look like? How big is the mud pit and how stuck are you? Then look at your design and start plugging in your talents to overcome it in your own way. Not how someone else does it. How YOU do it.

SATURATED
Logical and clear
Disciplined
Capable
Influential
Uncompromising (when it comes to correct principles)
Reserved and cool
Simple

WHITENED
Quick thinker
Multi-tasker
Flexible
Spontaneous
Enrolling through emotional strength
Non-threatening
No guile

GRAYED
Meticulous
Thorough
Connector (they can think of all the could be’s, might be’s, and all possible connections)
Analyzer
Conservative
Calm
Refined
Emotional strength

BLACKENED
Resourceful
Real
Task-oriented
Considerate
Warm
Logical
Pragmatic

 

So today start where you are standing (or planted), and go ahead and bloom. Like the first flower of summer that is so exciting. Don’t look back, and keep blooming in your way; a way no one else can. That’s what makes you unique and able to succeed.

And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

 

Staying Out of the “Can Be’s”

Posted on by Brook Thornley

We all have what is known in Human Art as “can be’s.” “Can be’s” are our best traits turned negative. They are characterological defects; negative traits we are not born with but have picked up along the way. Our good traits usually turn into “can be’s” when we experience negative emotions, such as feeling insecure or inadequate. When this happens we take one of the best traits from our design and push it just a little too far. When we do that we run the risk of it becoming a “can be.” We call them “can be’s” because they are potential negative traits. It can be negative, but isn’t always. If you have the positive side of a trait from your design it does not mean you automatically have the negative side (or the “can be”). It just means there is potential to go into the negative side of that trait. The best part of a “can be” is it is only one step back and we are immediately on the positive side of the trait again.

Case in point. There is a girl in my neighborhood that I really admire. I had not seen her for a long time when I was shopping one day and ran into her. I was so excited to see her that, without realizing it, I used one of the best traits of the Whitened design to approach her (that trait is social: being able to enroll easily and being able to talk to just about anyone) and I’m afraid I took it too far and it turned into a “can be.”  In my excitement I caught myself going on and on about me (I am pretty sure I told her just about every accomplishment I have made since I was 2). As if things were not bad enough, I then proceeded to use a Saturated trait of being cool and collected and, through my embarrassment, managed to turn that into a “can be” and became cold and aloof.  I literally stopped mid-sentence, turned, and walked right out of the store. I went to my car and found myself with my head down on my steering wheel asking myself why I had felt the need to recite to her everything I had ever done.

Something about that situation must have made me feel uncomfortable early on in the encounter. If I was functioning in control of my emotions and had a do over, I would have simply just caught myself in my Whitened “can be” and said something like, “Hey I am talking about me and what I really wanted was to know about you… ” One step back. That’s all it would have taken to make that a positive thing again. I then could have moved one step back from the “can be” of aloof and used the Saturated trait of quiet dignity (people with a lot of Saturated are very naturally dignified) and calmed everything down. I don’t think I will ever forget that interaction. I still get embarrassed when I reflect back on it. If I dwell on it I tend to think about how I came across that day. Not my finest moment.

We all have moments of inadequacy, even if they are brief. It does not feel good. I know. That is when we have the most potential to go into our “can be’s.” And if we do, it truly is not necessary to stay there. Every person has a unique design. There are so many great and wonderful traits that accompany these unique designs. All we need to do is take that one step back into that good trait, or several of them. Understand that we all slip at times. It’s a human thing. Move forward with your authentic self.  It will turn things around.

Here are examples for each design. Find a few of your good traits and the potential “can be” for each design.

Saturated     Central Focus or Attractive Traits: quality, cool, and in control
Can Be: cold, aloof, and controlling

Whitened     Central Focus or Attractive Traits:  social, enrolling, can talk with ease
Can Be: talks too much, come across as obnoxious

Grayed         Central Focus or Attractive Trait: Meticulous and calm
Can Be: Over think, worry, and avoid

Blackened    Central Focus or Attractive Trait: Task oriented, just fix it, or resourceful
Can Be: Forceful and resourceful to a fault

There are many more but this is just to mention a few. Remember we all have all four designs we just usually lead out with one design or trait and its potential “can be.”

Let’s get rid of our “can be’s.” Focus on the authentic trait and stop beating ourselves up every time we fall in to a “can be.” Let’s just understand ourselves, pick up and move forward as fast as we can. Take that one step back to our authentic brilliance, our authentic design. And remember: everyone is a masterpiece.

“What Am I Best At?” Understanding Your Central Focus

Posted on by Brook Thornley

A client recently asked me,” With my design, what am I the best at?”

Usually I get asked that in a different way. For example, “what job would I be the best at?” or, “what kind of spouse will I be?” When this client asked me so simply, “what am I good at?” I realized we ask ourselves that a lot. My answer is: you are best at being you. You are the master of that because you already know the rules.  We get in trouble when we look externally for the answer to that question or for our worth (that means we are comparing ourselves to someone else). If you find yourself doing that, you will fail. If you stay with your “great” or your “best” self you already know how to do that innately so you will have success.

It’s like ballet dancers in a dance class. Each dancer eventually becomes a graceful and talented dancer; they all just do it in their own way. As young dancers in class one might be very organized in her training with lots of lists to help her practice. Another girl might use her imagination to visualize the dream of being a prima ballerina to drive her to practice. Yet another is social and just can’t wait to get to class each time to see her friends. Years later you can find each one of them under the lights somewhere receiving cheers and a big bouquet of beautiful flowers. So the question should not be “what am I the best at?” the right question is, “how best do I tackle being something great?” (No matter what that “something” is).

 

It all boils down to your Central Focus.
Your central focus describes what is important to you to accomplish and in what way for any event or task.

 

If you are SATURATED……….. The central focus is quality. Whatever you deem to be quality is at the center of everything you do.

If you are WHITENED………. Your central focus is social and change. You need a lot of both things to stay involved in what you are doing.

If you are GRAYED………….  The details are so important. They become your central focus and you feel lost without them.

If you are BLACKENED………… You are the “get ‘er done” type of person. Just fix it!

The Door Fell Off
We often use the analogy of the door to help you figure it out. If you were in a room somewhere and the front door just suddenly fell off, what would your reaction be?

All the Saturated people would stand up and announce, “the door just fell off,” and would immediately take charge and start delegating.

All of the Whitened people would jump up and say, “Wow the door just fell off!” and call all their friends and tell them to come (and bring cupcakes) to see that the door fell off. (In other words, turn it into an opportunity to socialize and have fun).

The Grayed people would start processing the details. Something like, “the door fell off and it is late. We need to get something done about it because it’s almost dark, and oh yeah it might rain. I wonder if there is something wrong with the hinges…” and so on.

Finally, all the Blackened people would just get up and put the door back on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Remember that we all have all four types of personality in us, so we may relate to each in some way. But we lead out with our dominant one and that is where we find our central focus.

The next time you are thinking of what you are best at, stay true to your authentic self, no matter what it is you are doing. That is what they really mean when people say “just be you.”

And always remember, no matter what you choose to do everyone is a masterpiece.

~Brook

Discover Your Own Attractiveness

Posted on by Brook Thornley

My 5 year old niece got so excited the other day because someone super important to her was coming to visit her at her house. She dramatically announced that she wasn’t dressed for the occasion! She ran to her room and minutes later appeared in her new found beauty with a new outfit on and hair like she wanted it. In the excitement she started singing a song (which she often does. She seems to narrate her life out loud in song form), “First I was ugly and out was out…now I am pretty and in is in!!!”

As only a 5 year old can, she narrated how we judge ourselves so often. Male or female we all do it. It is amazing that we make it that simple. Only a five year old has the courage or innocence to just blurt it out, but we all sometimes inwardly believe it at times. Is it really that easy that, depending on how we feel about ourselves in that moment, we can be inadequate one minute and amazing the next; only seconds lies between being on the bottom and then on top of the world.

The truth lies in what we know about ourselves and how familiar we really are with our authentic self and our version of attractiveness.

Attractiveness is much deeper than our outfit or status. It is not external, it is internal. As my niece so profoundly stated, “in is in.”  Our personal attractiveness lies inside of us—our strengths and character traits.

For example, if I were to define my personal attractiveness it would be “nice.” I love being nice (I have moments, I promise, that look different, but my intention is to always be nice). Is nice ever not attractive? So you see our true attractiveness is based on our inner strengths. They never go away.

At Human Art we have four types of personalities or designs. Below are some traits that correlate with each one. Today find a few you relate to and hold on to them. Like magic you will feel “in is in” and on top of the world. If you find yourself in an “out is out” moment, hold on to those traits, or go back and find a few more that you relate to. See how it works. You will find you will quickly start appreciating your own personal design—your personal attractiveness and authentic self.

SATURATED
Precise
Clear thinker
Contemporary
In control
Quiet dignity
Still
Authoritative
Simple

WHITENED
Fun
Enrolling
Safe
Spontaneous
Fresh
Childlike

GRAYED
Soothing
Calm
Elegant
Meticulous
Connector
Refined

BLACKENED
Real
Warm
Task-oriented
Compartmentalizer
Sturdy
Exotic
Natural

Remember: your worth has already been defined. It is not negotiable. You just need to discover it in yourself. Everyone is a masterpiece.