Tag: authentic self

Getting Our Sense of Self Back – The Saturated and Whitened Shine

Posted on June 11, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

As we go through our life in the day to day activities and tasks, we can experience trauma at any time. It can be quite dramatic sometimes, but for the most part we all experience trauma on the lighter end of the spectrum in our day to day routine. For this reason, we don’t always recognize it, and we also don’t recognize that that is what leads to a slight drop in sense of self. Little by little these hits can add up and create a crisis in our sense of self, who we really are, and our self-love.

We had a woman at Human Art experience this dynamic. She grew up in a family who loved her and met her physical needs quite well. Emotionally however, there was a family script that went back for generations that was full of rules and led to a great amount of perfection and harshness. It’s just all her family knew, and they were doing the best that they could. They managed to get through her upbringing, but she noticed as an adult she struggled with relationships and bonding. It led her to reach out and ask us for help. She realized that over time she had lost who she was and what her authenticity even looked like. We educated her on the fact that this was an example of one of these “small” traumas that had the potential to take her away from who she really was. Every time someone treated her with any level of perceived harshness it put her in a place of fear and she would flip into survival mode. Not a great place to try and relate or bond with people.

Many of us find ourselves in a similar situation, no matter the underlying reason, where we have lost our authentic self and let fear rule. So let’s talk about how we use our personality or authenticity (however much we have of it at any given time) to get our sense of self back. It is important to use the traits that are in our design to find our way back to who we really are so we can relate to others and bond with them in that authentic way.

The Saturated and Whitened Authenticity

One thing that the Saturated and Whitened designs have in common is, when we look at the colors that they both relate to, no matter what the color is it is always better when it has a shine added to it. Both designs relate to it. When it comes to interacting and relating with others, it is the very same. Both of these designs like to shine.

A Saturated person wants to shine through quality. If they are assigned to any task or project they themselves don’t want to have the attention on themselves, they want the quality of what they are engaged in to shine. It is a communication of sorts, to let people know that it is credible.

The Whitened design likes to shine in the fact that they are enrolling others. They love to draw attention to anything that will show something is enrolling or fun to bring people together.

In either design, they love to shine. When trauma happens, no matter how small, it takes them out of their ability to shine, and just the fact that someone or something is dulling them down can be traumatic for their sense of self and self-love.

The road back for these two designs is to continue, or maybe even try again, to shine. Whether it be in small or big ways, it is important to start. You could shine in a conversation or a small task, you could shine in a talent or a project. Just shine. It will jump start you back to your authenticity and a sense of self in the way that you relate to it.

This week encourage anyone that has Whitened or Saturated designs to shine. Whether it be yourself or someone you know, it is the week of those who love to shine. It will be helpful to all.

And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Get Your Authentic Self Back – Trauma and Authenticity

Posted on June 4, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

Our authenticity tends to be very important in the art of being human. We seem to be willing to go to great lengths to seek out our authentic self. At Human Art we see dynamics that chip away at one’s authentic self. One of the most common ones we see is trauma.

It is important to note that trauma can be experienced at many levels and degrees. You might think of trauma as anything that changes life as it is. Depending on the degree of change and how it effects us as humans determines how much it has potential to traumatize us. It can be something very big or it can be something seemingly ordinary, but if it changes our life or even just threatens our life as it is, we can experience the effects of trauma.

Learning to build a strong authenticity, or perhaps taking back our authentic self if we’ve lost it along the way, is so vital to being a functioning human. It allows us to navigate life from a healthy place, will bring us more in life, and keeps us in the moment—which allows our self-love to grow. All of these together gives us the benefit of being in a place to support ourselves from a strong position of security when we do face change and trauma. This strength enables us to experience life in a full and happy way.

So how do we start developing or taking back our authenticity? Here are our first steps:

Find your way back through your values
Whatever your design is, the important first step is to figure out what you value in your design or personality. Use that as a value that flows throughout every thought and every conversation in your life. Whether you value order, or possibly light-heartedness, sensitivity, hard work, or any other of the dozens of traits for each design, plug that into everything you say or do. It is like leaving your stamp on everything you touch. It will leave a trace that will at some point lead right back to you. It will become such a strong part of you that it will become a piece of your blueprint.
Guard your perimeter
After you have established your value system (this is a personal one, not an established one) we need to move to “keep the good in and the bad out.” It is literally like a fence around us and our personal space that travels with us no matter where we are or who we interact with. We are the one responsible to guard or stand watch of that fence, or perimeter, and protect it. The minute we want someone else to do that job for , or have expectations of others to not bring the bad in, we are in trouble. It is our job and we owe it to ourselves.
Take back your healthy personal power
We all need our personal power to choose and to dissent or agree. If we don’t feel we have that ability we function as if we are in captivity. Do whatever it takes (in healthy ways) to take our power back. This includes finding safety. Find help in healthy ways. Whether it be through a professional, or self-help tools, just do it. Take that step.
Come home to self
Stop living out the scripts and personas that have been prescribed to you and get any amount of projection out. At Human Art that is our number one goal—”TO ALL MANKIND, ONE PERSON AT A TIME”—to help people find their authenticity and define it and love it. Don’t stop until you are well on your way. It will be worth your time and investment.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Manufactured Self vs. Authentic Self: The Blackened Fix

Posted on March 25, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

We finish off this month’s discussion of the authentic vs. manufactured self by talking about how it might like for the Blackened design. If you haven’t read our previous posts, read an introduction and all about the Saturated design here, Whitened here, and Grayed here.

The Blackened authenticity is direct and honest. Someone who is high in the Blackened personality has a need to fix things. They are honest and real. I often describe them as warm, and you feel as if they would give you the shirt off their own back if it would solve a problem for you. They interact with others in a real way and have an honesty that is as warm as a summer morning in the mountains. They love to take action and they do not like drama—just direct communication. They love to protect, and usually engage with others through tasks.

Let’s say that in interacting with others they get criticized for being too blunt. They might reject that wonderful organic honesty and replace it with a manufactured trait of holding everything in and being shy. They then might get more negative feedback for being too task-oriented and never taking a break. They then might throw that trait out and replace it with a projected trait of being overly silly and carefree. It can go on and on. They throw away their resourcefulness and try hard to come across as carefree; and they have also abandoned their beautiful casual nature to try to be more authoritative. They would do this for protection. They would then get the final blow of being criticized for not being real and knowing who they are. Now instead of that natural Blackened authenticity you are left to experience an unconvincingly shy, forcefully silly, unnaturally carefree, and overtly authoritative and stuffy authenticity that is confusing to those they interact with. It does not make sense to others. It does not in any way validate the Blackened individual.

Finding your authenticity, learning your equation, and experiencing life through it is the only way to find true joy and the peace we all seem to desire. We all have different amounts of all four designs in our personality so we all have an amount of Blackened in us. For some it is a lot, for others it might be a little. It might just be enough to be real or to get things done in just certain areas of our life rather than across the board. There is such a beauty to the rich authenticity of a person that is high in the Blackened design: they live life though adventure, they experience rich relationships, and they love by naturally nurturing and protecting others. They will always tell you how they feel.

Find they amount of Blackened you hold in your authenticity and use this week to expand its capabilities. Be honest with yourself and be real with others. Live in the moment and take life in. You deserve it, and those close to you deserve it. And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Manufactured Self vs. Authentic Self: The Grayed Connection

Posted on March 19, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

Continuing our discussion of the manufactured vs. authentic self, this week we are talking about the Grayed design. If you missed the last two weeks, you can read about Saturated here, and Whitened here.

The Grayed authenticity is refined and meticulous. Someone who is high in the Grayed design or personality has an elaborate need for details. They are sensitive and empathetic. I often describe them as calm, but a calm that is felt and doesn’t need words to feel the effects brush over you. They will interact with others in a conservative manner that has an inquisitive engagement. They are introverted and understated, but the refined way in which they enter any interaction allows them to connect with others with ease and is introspective.

Let’s say that in interacting with others they get criticized for taking too much time to think about something. They get labeled as “too slow.” They then might reject that wonderful trait of being meticulous and replace it with a manufactured trait of responding quickly and compulsively. They then get more negative feedback that they are too sensitive, so they reject that trait and replace it with stern. It can go on and on. Criticized for being to inquisitive, they now replace it with the trait of free and non-structured so they do what they want. And instead of seen for their calmness they are labeled as tuned out and not paying attention, so it is replaced with loud and intrusive. They would do this for protection. They then might get criticized for being a mess. Now, instead of a beautiful Grayed authenticity, you have an egoic self that is a compulsive, stern, non-structured, loud, intrusive mess of an egoic self. It doesn’t make sense to those interacting with the beautiful Grayed person. It does not in any way validate the Grayed individual.

Finding our authenticity and learning our equation and experiencing life through it is the only way to find true joy and the peace we desire. We all have amounts of all four designs in our personality so we all have an amount of Grayed in us. We might have a lot or a little, it might just be enough to process through things. There are hidden strengths and traits when we use our Grayed, we just have to consider that same question we have been asking for weeks: ARE WE FUNCTIONING IN OUR AUTHENTICITY OR IN A PROJECTED, EGOIC, MANUFACTURED SELF OR A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH?

Use this week to notice how much of the Grayed design or authenticity you have in your design. To the degree you have Grayed is the degree that you find the Grayed traits you relate to and use them. Grow from them and see through that lens what character traits you find showing up. Carefully incorporate them into challenges and barriers you face and you will find connections that you never considered before. Then find someone else and connect with them. You will find more empathy and understanding for yourself and also for others. You deserve it, and others around you deserve it, because everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Manufactured Self vs. Authentic Self: The Whitened Difference

Posted on March 11, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

Last week we introduced the topic of the manufactured self vs. the authentic self, and how that manufactured self might be created. We also talked about what that difference might look like for a Saturated person. This week, we are going to talk about the way a Whitened person might create a manufactured self.

The Whitened authenticity is youthful and spontaneous. Someone who is high in the Whitened design has a high need for social interactions and fun in their life. They are enrolling and I describe them often as someone with no guile. They will interact with others with no agenda. Just a pure innocence that is designed to make others happy and light-hearted. They are extroverted so most of their thought process is done on the outside. They are active but at the same time can absorb information at a high rate; they can also remember it and recall it when needed. Those traits are all authentic and they all make sense when interacting with someone that is high in the Whitened design.

Let’s say that they get criticized for interacting with someone in such a non-structured way. They might get told that they need to take things more seriously. They then might reject that Whitened trait and take on a manufactured trait of disqualifying people and relationships quickly and not interacting with others as much. They would do this for protection. Then another person might come along and give them negative attention for being so active or enrolling. There again they reject that quality and maybe put in a controlling trait as part of their manufactured self to again protect them from getting more negative feedback. It keeps going. They reject their innocence and become overly direct. They trade their light-heartedness for quiet, still and isolated. Now, instead of that beautiful Whitened authenticity, you have an egoic self that is too quickly disqualifying, controlling, overly direct, still too quiet, and isolated. To top it off they then get more criticism that they are not fun anymore. It creates confusion when interacting with the beautiful Whitened person. It does not in any way validate the Whitened person.

Finding our true authentic equation and experiencing life through it is the only way to find true joy. As I have mentioned before, we have all four designs so we all have some Whitened in our authentic equations. As we keep moving through life we need to find how much. It is a great way to put us in a state of play and we all experience optimal learning when we are in a state of play. There is hidden strength and amounts of character that can be developed when we use our authentic lens to start that journey. We just have to ask that same question again: ARE WE FUNCTIONING IN OUR AUTHENTICITY OR IN A PROJECTED, EGOIC, MANUFACTURED SELF? OR A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH?

Use this week to notice how much of the Whitened authenticity you have in your design. Is it a little, medium amount, or a lot? To the degree you have it, find the Whitened traits that you relate to and use them. Use them to play, use them to learn, use them to celebrate and teach others. Jump into it this week, grab someone’s hand and bring them with you. You deserve it, they deserve it. and remember everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook