Tag: authenticity

Peace on Earth Good Will Toward Men: Leaving Our Imprint (Week 3)

Posted on December 18, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

Over the week I have seen many examples of people leaving their imprint. It shows up when they leave goodies on someone’s porch, when they carol, I even heard a Christmas message delivered in a way that illuminated that person’s personality traits that were very attractive and warm. I witnessed a couple entertaining friends with a song on a piano and even their interactions with each other were so sweet and charming that it left an imprint of them as a couple on the entire group that night. It seems to come out at Christmas more than any other time of year. It lends itself to connections and reevaluating ourselves to see where we want to grow.

The Grayed person, or someone with a lot of Grayed in their design, is a great example of this kind of act or dynamic that leads to leaving their imprint on someone, because they value connection. They instinctively look for connections in all that they do.

Three Things a Grayed Person Leaves With Us (Their Imprint):

A Sense of Calm
Things to Ponder
A Feeling of Connection

These are great things to feel in our lives and also great things to bring into our lives. As we find ourselves on the doorstep of that great Christmas day, as we do our last minute errands, make one of those errands be to leave our imprint somewhere, and do it in a way that brings peace. It cannot help but enhance the Christmas season and make all those we encounter walk away better than when we got there. Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men: Leaving Our Imprint (week 2)

Posted on December 12, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

As we talked last week about our individual imprint that we leave when we interact with others, it got us all thinking here at Human Art this week. We have had many discussions on how others might experience our personality, or in simple terms, what affect we have on others. We dove deeper into that concept and we became very curious as to how we leave people feeling when they experience our personality or design. It occurred to us that our design could be experienced in a positive or a negative way, depending on how we use it to interact with others. It became very important to us that we used our design to leave peace, wherever we had the chance to interact with someone. That is especially important to us at Christmas time. “Good will towards men.”

The Whitened person is a master at that when they are interacting in their authenticity. They love it when everyone is happy, so they are drawn to positivism and to upbeat interactions. They seem to share a desire to leave others in a happier state when they interact with them.

3 Things a Whitened Person Leaves With Us When They Serve Us (Their Imprint):
Lightheartedness
Belonging
Enrolling

As we find ourselves in the middle of the holiday season it is great to give gifts and provide activities, but make sure some of the gifts are small acts of kindness in that Whitened way. To the degree that you have Whitened in your design or personality, is the degree you will want to serve in this way. It is a great way to serve others at this Christmas time.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Men: Leaving Our Imprint

Posted on December 3, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

One of the things I have always appreciated about the holidays is the carols. Nothing seems to bring in Christmas like a good Christmas song. It creates a feeling in the air that is like no other. Whether you hear it on the radio in your car, in the stores, or just have it playing in your home around the Christmas tree, it is a sure way to ring in the holiday feeling.

“PEACE ON EARTH GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN,” is a familiar line that we all know and sing. One way that we can offer “peace on earth” or spread “good will towards men” is when we do small acts of kindness—but it’s important that we do it in our way. Just like the song The Little Drummer Boy when he came to see “the newborn King,” he had nothing to offer except his gift, his

abilities, his talents, so he used just that and he played for Him. It is a great display of sharing authenticity.

I call this an imprint. Just like the little drummer boy, when we want to offer “good will towards men” we offer ourselves in an organic way, in our design. And when we leave, we have left something with that person or persons that we served—our imprint. It is a feeling, an example experienced in a way that no one else can offer. These are the times that our effect leaves others wanting to be better for it.

3 Things the Saturated Person Leaves With Us When They Serve Us (Their Imprint):
Quiet Dignity
Quality Outcome
Simplicity

As we enter this Christmas season it is great to give gifts, but make sure some of these gifts are a display of our authenticity. It will serve all those we come in contact with. Some of the people you affect might not even be observable, they might just notice it from afar. It still has the same impact. Remember that you are unique in your design and you do leave an imprint wherever you go. Make it count this year. Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

“Once Upon a Time”: How to Prosper in the Whitened Design

Posted on July 15, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

Learning about this “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” as we have in the last few weeks is very important to inviting healthy relationships into our lives. Being able to recognize this dynamic in any relationship is as important as recognizing physical systems when we are sick with any physical ailment. When we are not aware of it we run the risk of dismissing it when really we are right in the crossfires of this dynamic. As far as I can see, as long as we can name these dynamics for what they are we are in a much better place to prosper in all aspects of life because we can side-step the unhealthy connection in any relationship.

What does prosper look like?

WHITENED

For the Whitened design, whether or not you prosper is based on how the people around you are interacting and enrolling in any relationship, conversation, or task. They are good at noticing what people like and dislike and they are good at anticipating the needs of others. They pull all of this off in a light and free manner that tends to be nonthreatening. It is part of their charm.

In the unhealthy “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” a controlling person will see these Whitened traits and will prey upon the fact that the Whitened person loves to please and it is important to them that those who they interact with are reasonably happy and comfortable. If that controlling person expresses that they are not happy, it can weigh on the Whitened person. To the degree of the Whitened design in the person is equal to the degree it will weigh on them and also dictates the degree that will act on it. If they cannot come to a reasonable resolution it has a high potential to create hopelessness.

The Projective Identity put on the Whitened person by the controlling person now looks something like a criticism that leads back to a narrative that the Whitened person is careless and not paying attention. The components of the narrative are designed to make the Whitened person feel as if they created this and that they displease others with their carelessness; the controlling person will sometimes go as far as to make the Whitened person feel like they are out of line in some way for putting that much thought and attention into caring about what others think. The Whitened is led to believe that their spontaneity is elaborate and that they are actually irresponsible and illogical for thinking and behaving this way. That is where dominance begins because the controlling person will flood the Whitened person with examples of how responsible and logical they are, and they seem to make it fun and enjoyable. They can go so far as to sell the idea that they please people more than the Whitened does and then the Whitened is now dependent on them not only to deem them OK, but to show them the way back.

Once the Whitened person is in this place of fear, they run the risk of showing up in their “can be.” The can be of the Whitened is they can over-enroll, so it now becomes more evidence and ammunition for the controller in their dynamic to drive them further into believing the narrative.

We have a client that is Whitened. This client values being social and celebrating others. They love to interact with others. They have a keen sense of when someone wants to interact with them and when someone just wants space, and either one is fine with this client. They started out very secure.

They have an insecure person in their family. When the insecure person is not doing well socially and doesn’t seem to be getting what they want, they turn directly to this Whitened person and start accusing them of not being able to show up for people in healthy ways. They will go as far as to convince them that people don’t really like them and their Whitened ways are irritating others. As soon as this comes up, the Whitened person “gets hopping” meaning gets busy to please people more. The more they try, the more this other insecure person brings up evidence of their illogical carelessness that is annoying others. Classic projection!!!

The best way for the Whitened person to navigate their way back to a healthy “Once Upon a Time” and find their version of a “Happily Ever After” is to define happiness for themselves and plant themselves right in that spot. If you are happy and feel good and you add that to respecting others needs, you will navigate yourself right back to that secure place where it will not be as threatening if others are not pleased and happy. You can remain calm and lighthearted even when others are not. If you find yourself in a situation where those around you need space, honor that, but meet your own self care needs in healthy ways. Anticipate your needs and act on them. It’s not selfish because the Whitened person’s attention will quickly be directed to others as soon as someone else comes along. In fact, that secure calmness that you emulate will be a great source of security for yourself and those interacting with you. It is contagious.

I have seen it time and time again, if you decide you want to prosper in any aspect of life, going back to your authentic way of doing things will always lead you to your hopes and dreams. They might take a detour, but if you are true to who you are and what your design and personality is, you will find ways to enjoy the ride while you are being redirected. Stay in your lane and navigate it in a way only you can. Everyone deserves that, and everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

“Once Upon a Time “: How to Prosper in the Saturated Design

Posted on July 9, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

In the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” we talk a lot about the beginning of any journey. We talk about how to learn more about ourselves and love our self so we can relate to others in healthy ways. We talk about how important our beliefs about our self and who we are can be. They can determine whether or not we are controlled in relationships and whether or not we can leave behind unhealthy dynamics. Add all this up and it really has the potential to determine whether or not we are going to prosper in our hopes and dreams.

What does prosper look like for each design? Each week we will look at one design to see what this looks like for them.

SATURATED

For the Saturated design, whether or not we prosper is determined by what that Saturated person deems will hit the mark for them. It is the one or two things that they keep focused on in any dream. They keep that in their sights and they stay focused.

In the “Once Upon a Time” unhealthy dynamic, where the main character believes what the controlling person in their life has projected on them, the damage is done when it destroys the order around them and the definition of the order of their dreams. Order to someone high in the Saturated design is key, it is like the air they breathe. They thrive when everything is in its prospective place. If you take that order away or more importantly, pervert it, it can have devastating effects on someone that is Saturated. The degree of their Saturated design is equal to the degree of the devastation they will experience. This is the seed of their hopelessness. That hopelessness will now become the main character in their story and everything is organized around that. The fear infused into that narrative is their fuel. All bets are off and they are literally driven by fear.

The projective identity is placed on the Saturated person when the controlling person redefines order and what it looks like in this narrative. They don’t go directly at the Saturated person’s character because that design tends to have a lot of confidence. The dominating person seems to sense this, so they get busy redefining order and what it really looks like. They also add the extra flattering narrative for themselves of how good they are at this new kind of order (defined by them) and they move forward with a false self that appears even more confident than the legitimate and authentic confidence of the Saturated design. This is the hook. The Saturated person is left in self-doubt and that is when they start to consider that the egoic, projected, made up form of order is true. As time goes on and more hits come, they believe it more and more—and those roads all lead to hopelessness for a Saturated person.

The” can be” of the Saturated design plays a role here because they see things in an “all or nothing way.” They move from the confidence of the “all” or “all in” to the helplessness, avoidance, and shut down of the “nothing”, so they tend to feel and do “nothing.”

If you are Saturated, the best way to navigate your way out of this unhealthy version of the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” is to learn about and change the dynamics we talked about last week to move into the new and healthy “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” or starting place. It will lead to “happily ever after” kind of success. The next step is to throw out the narrative. Use that clear-thinking part of you that you already are familiar with and put your sights on whatever gives you clarity. It usually comes in the form of a declaration. Something like, “I can do this, or I’m competent, or I have dignity…” Focus on that one thing and go. Remember that your opinion of yourself in the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” is the only one that counts in this point of your journey. Others will come later when you are healthy. You are the one to define order for yourself and then support yourself in it. It’s not selfish, it’s appropriate. It’s what is needed now. Stamp the statement and the meaning that goes with that declaration in your mind, apply it in your life and all around you. The third thing is to remember to move back to your authenticity. It is full of your values and preferences and defines what makes you feel safe. That will give you the personal power you need to navigate life.

I promise that if you want to prosper in anything, you need to know your authenticity and be able to support yourself enough to use it. Keep in mind that to prosper means to add resources to our life, to add meaning to our life, to obtain dreams, and to meet personal goals that lead to our dreams. The other part of prosper is to enjoy it when you do. It is to be grateful for it and to sit back and watch just how lucky you are to be on your own path and playing out the movie of your life, and not someone else’s script for you.

You are worth it, because everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook