Tag: children

Understanding a Sense of Self Injury

A client came in to Human Art the other day and expressed that she was struggling to make some big decisions in her life. Rod, our clinician, asked her if she thought she might be experiencing a “sense of self injury”. She replied, “how could I have an injury to my sense of self if I don’t even have one?” I have been thinking a lot about that conversation. If we don’t know who we are isn’t that an injury in and of itself? Thinking about our sense of self causes us to pause and examine our authenticity. That person we were when we were born. 

I love watching toddlers because they seem to be functioning at all times in their authenticity. They could be in a diaper with their tummy sticking out, their hair could be tousled, and food or drool dripping down the front of them and you can tell in their mind they are the most amazing human ever. They don’t seem to even consider that something could remotely be wrong with them. It is brilliant. I love to watch them move around the room from toy to toy, completely free to be who they are.

Then as we grow life throws some things at us. Not all of them are positive. That is the beginnings of a “sense of self injury”. When we experience criticism or rejection for using one of our authentic traits in the best way we know how, we run the risk of rejecting that trait ourselves (because it did not serve us in that moment, so we think). In our head we seem to declare that we will never do that again. But the way we are made up in this human experience it’s like our soul will not let us be without a trait, so we create one in its place. For example if someone was being kind and others were mobbing them and making fun of them for being kind, they might reject that trait. In their head it might sound like, “well I am not going to be kind again.” They then consider a new trait to replace it. “I will be rude instead, then no one can hurt me.” That is what is referred to as a manufactured self. It is not who we truly are. As we go along in life, the more we reject who we are and try and replace it with a manufactured trait the more we run the risk of divorcing our authenticity all together. That is an egoic self.

So it boils down to asking ourselves: are we a version of our authenticity, or are we a version of a manufactured self? Spend some time on your relationship with yourself. We all have one. It manifests through our self talk. Are we striving to be authentic or are we in a constant state of projection? These are important questions to ask ourself.

Learning who we are and how we are made up becomes what we hold on to and determines what we value in life. At Human Art: The Original Personality Test, we work tirelessly to help one to find their authenticity. We teach people how to define it, to use it, to celebrate it and to love it.

Remember, at Human Art: The Original Personality Test, everyone is a masterpiece.