Tag: interaction

What Does a Grayed Person Need When We Come to the Table?

Posted on November 19, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

When we think of the Holiday Season we are well served to focus on traditions. They provide a thread of connection but can also play a crucial role in securing relationships. Those events, dynamics, and interactions that are the same each time the season comes around give us something to look forward to and provide a dream or event to romanticize the season. If we could take a space of time to stop and ponder on the meaning that each tradition holds for us personally, it will enhance our connections as we come to the table as the holidays unfold.

At Thanksgiving time, as we anticipate coming around the table with those we love, keep in mind the people you want to connect with. If we have a desire to connect at a deeper level or just to get

to know someone even better, we are well served to focus on the details of the connection. A healthy back and forth that leads to sharing and lending is a good place to start when wanting to find out new details of someone you might be sitting next to or someone who is new to the table. When focusing on details of friendships old and new, or family ties from way back when or more recent, everyone loves to bond through getting to know each other on a deeper level.

Details are the strength of the Grayed design, so this week, let’s talk about what is important to those close to us that are Grayed.

Five Things a Grayed Person is Grateful for When we Come to the Table:

1. Providing thorough instructions about what is going to unfold (down to the smallest detail, like when to come to the table, where to sit, when to start eating and what will come next and at what point would you like me do that…).

2. Smaller connections and conversations are more rewarding. Even in a big group, a smaller subgroup is better.

3. Leave time to take it all in. Rushing through things takes away from the interaction and enjoyment of the experience.

4. In conversations, don’t always move too quickly, or look for an immediate answer. Allowing time to process is key.

5. Leave a space for the Grayed to move continuously through the dinner or event. Connect the activities so it feels fluid. If it is right after dinner sipping on hot cider, or as we anticipate the end of the event, slow it all down to think back on all that has taken place.

If we take a few minutes of careful planning to make sure that these things are considered when entertaining our Grayed loved ones, it will insure a better interaction, a deeper connection, and strengthen the future experiences we have with each Grayed person.

Happy Holidays and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

11.14.19 What Does a Whitened Person Need When We Come to the Table

11.6.18 Thanksgiving: Who’s Coming to Dinner?

It Only Takes 3 Seconds to Identify the Blackened Personality

Posted on September 25, 2018May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

You can tell the Blackened design or personality in 3 seconds when they walk through the door.

“I’m here, I have an appointment right now, let’s get started so we will end on time.”
Their movement is deliberate and on purpose and it makes you want to jump in and participate in the task; whatever it might be.
“What’s our time frame? I have another appointment after this.”

It is so beautiful. The room seems to immediately turn casual, any pretenses gone as if the sun is beating down and bathing you after a long day of hard work. Like a nap on a warm beach with waves crashing on you and leaving a little sand on our face to remind you that you are here. It is rich yet earthy, similar to a thunderstorm beating down on you while you are running through the streets laughing and dancing in bare feet. You feel yourself drinking in the casual warmth and find yourself opening up like you never have before, responding to their honesty and realness like a good old friend that you feel secure with.

You notice that the Blackened person is giving you honest advice in a truthful way that is nurturing; and can abruptly switch your direction to one that is realistic and secure. It’s as if they don’t want you to spend one more minute wasting time on something that won’t serve you. You feel secure yet nurtured—similar to a walk in the mountains with all its honesty. You notice the Blackened person is caring for you through tasks. They get you a chair, or a plate of food, even a blanket when you are cold. That’s their charm. This is an example of what it feels like to get thrown into a 3 second interaction with someone that has a lot of Blackened in their personality.

We sometimes forget to notice their “get ‘r done” nature. Everything they do is designed to protect—to protect those around them, those they love, those they don’t even know. Their ability to fix things, no matter what they are, is uncanny. It is as if their body moves to fix a problem before their mind even can finish processing what it is. They do that on the way.

Sometimes we dismiss their directness as someone who is tactless, when really they are just trying to get to the what, where, and why of every situation. They are so resourceful. They can fix whatever is wrong with just what resources are in the room.

Common question have to do with resources.

“Did you get that done?”
“How did you do it?”
“Did you put that away?”
We can better engage them through structure.
“What needs to be done first?”
“What makes more sense right now?”
“What will save resources?”

A Blackened person does not appreciate the drama or the “fluff.” They are the “get to it” group; not a lot of talking just a lot of doing. They prefer serving someone over having a meeting about it. They are very hands on. If you truly want to engage them in a caring way just take something off their list of things to do. They appreciate it because they are probably doing that for you to show how much they care.

This week, make it a point to find as many people as you can who have a high amount of Blackened in their personality. We all have amounts of each harmony in us, but it is pretty obvious that someone has high amounts of Blackened when you look for the traits that we have discussed. Please take the time to enjoy the beauty of it. Even if you don’t get the exact amount of Blackened, that’s ok, at least you are giving them some of your time to see their beauty.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Read about the other designs:
Saturated
Whitened
Grayed

It Only Takes 3 Seconds to Identify the Grayed Personality

Posted on September 18, 2018May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

You can tell the Grayed design or personality in 3 seconds when they walk through the door.

“um…”
“Is this the right time. Am I in the right place?”
Their movement is flowing and continuous.
“Can you tell me where I am supposed to go.”

It is so beautiful. The room seems to take on a dreamy and mystical ambience. It is calm yet refined. It is as if a magical mist entered the room. Similar to a spray of rain where the drops blend together. You feel your shoulders drop a bit and sigh. It feels like settling into a soft comfortable chair. You find yourself weaving into a conversation and connecting deeply with the person. You notice that the Grayed person is wanting to know what you need and prefer. They are genuinely interested in the details of your experience. This is an example of what it feels like to descend into the deep end of a 3 second interaction with someone who has a lot of Grayed in their personality.

We sometimes forget to notice the meticulous nature of everything a Grayed person does. Their ability to process and think about the “what could be, might be, and should be” is their brilliance. It is done in such an understated and conservative way. Sometimes we dismiss their meticulous inquiry as a studious interrogation when really every detail is designed to protect others from making preventable mistakes. Their strength is their ability to help us ponder things and consider all the contingencies. If we would just stop and unfold their method, we would understand how deeply they care and want to connect with those around them. They would help us to intensely experience the highs and lows of life and be there to catch us when we fall. Do not underestimate their ability to care.

Common questions have to do with the details and how things will move and flow.

“The last time we talked, you mentioned your project. How is that going?”
“Hold on. Go back and tell me more about…”
“Wait. Can we think this through? You said…”

We can more comfortably engage them by easing into conversations or dynamics. Grayed people tend to not appreciate change and confrontation but they are great at collaboration if you will slow down and give them adequate time to consider the details.

Sometimes they like to ask all the questions and sometimes they just want to listen. They romance through the details no matter who is talking. The general rule with the Grayed personality is focus on the details and avoid abrupt starts and stops.

“Last week we were trying to solve this problem, Can we talk more about it.”
“It is getting closer to the time we have to make the decision, can we talk about a few more details.”

The Grayed personality is sensitive. It is mysterious and intuitive. They like depth in every interaction. They like traditions and thread relationships over time. They like fewer closer relationships.

This week make a point to find as many people as you can who have a high amount of Grayed in their personality. We all have amounts of each harmony in us. It is pretty obvious that someone has high amounts of Grayed when you look for the traits we have discussed. Please take the time to enjoy the beauty of it. Even if you don’t get the exact amount of Grayed, that is ok, at least you are giving them some time to see their beauty.

Remember everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Read about the other designs:
Saturated
Whitened
Blackened

It Only Takes 3 Seconds to Identify the Whitened Personality

Posted on September 4, 2018May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

You can tell the Whitened design or personality within three seconds when they walk through the door.

“You are here, I’m so excited!”
Their movement busy and is maximum movement
“I have an appointment, I’m so glad it’s you…”

*Copyright Human Art: The Original Personality Test*

It is so beautiful; the room seems to come to life. It’s as if a fresh, yet light, swirling breeze came in the room; similar to when leaves pirouette in circles when caught in a warm summer wind.
You feel yourself relax and you are suddenly caught up in enrolling with those around you. It’s like springtime when you hear the first bird start singing. It feels as if you are watching the sun come through the door after a cold rain. You forget all your worries and for a few minutes you smile and get caught up in the conversation. This is an example of what it feels like to get softly yet swiftly bounced into a 3 second interaction with someone who has a lot of Whitened in their design.

We sometimes forget to notice their advanced social engagement and how they can somehow pay attention to everyone in the room. That ability to absorb so many dynamics with so many people at the same time is their brilliance, and yet it’s done in such a light and no-guile way with no agenda, just being present to see what will happen next. Sometimes we make the mistake of labeling this unassuming and youthful attitude for one that is scattered or random; but if we stop and peek into their method, we understand just how much information they can take in at one time, and truly concentrate on all of it, yet keep it so light at the same time. Do not underestimate their emotional intelligence. Instead ride the ride. They will bring you along in a fun commentator role.

Common questions they might ask usually have something to do with either social engagement or change.

“Hey come see, can you believe this?”…
“You know what would be so fun?”…
“I have an idea, so you want to just…”

We can engage them by enrolling them into our conversation. Often we won’t have to engage them because they usually initiate the conversation, so it is a service to them when you will jump in and participate in what they are doing. If you are introverted and find yourself not prone to participate comfortably, its ok, they also appreciate you participating by paying attention to what is going on. It is the same for them. The general rule with someone with a lot of Whitened is “if you’re happy, they are happy.”

“Oh I see that you have gathered some of the people around and are playing a team building game. I LOVE WATCHING THIS. It is so fun to observe.”

OR
“I WOULD LOVE TO JUMP IN.”

The Whitened personality is joyful. It is a happy state that is spontaneous and youthful. It has to have a free component to interactions. They thrive and recharge when people they love are around them. Social engagement is key. Any job is done better when someone is with them.

This week make it a point to find as many people as you can that have a high amount of Whitened in them. Even though we all have amounts of all four personality types in us, it is pretty obvious that someone has high amounts of Whitened in them when you look for these traits we’ve discussed. You will see it. Please take the time to enjoy the beauty of it. Even if you don’t get exactly the amount of Whitened in the person you are paying attention to, That’s ok, at least you are giving them some of your time to see their beauty.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.
Brook

Read about the other designs:
Saturated
Grayed
Blackened

It Only Takes 3 Seconds to Identify the Saturated Personality

Posted on August 28, 2018May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

You can tell the Saturated design or personality within three seconds when they walk through the door.

“Hello.” They speak precisely.
Their movement is still.
They stand erect.
“I have an appointment….”

It is so beautiful; the room seems to settle into complete order and peacefulness. No chaos to be found. From that first “hello” (with their arms peacefully by their side or their hands simply clasped in front of them) you feel yourself stand a little straighter, and you are aware of your pronunciation and grammar. It feels like standing on the edge of a serene lake on a still, cool, crisp night; alone with the icy glow of the moon shining in all its majestic beauty and its shadow or silhouette of a dome somehow feels like silver in the winter. This is an example of what it feels like to get smoothly slid into a 3 second interaction with a human that has a lot of the Saturated personality in their design.

Some of us forget to notice this type of beauty and we miss the small yet profound beauty of this interaction. We excuse it away and file it in our brain as running into someone that did not talk and in our interpretation comes off a bit stuffy or aloof. What a miss.

Common questions they ask usually have something to do with clarifying or making something more clear.

“When you say that, do you mean this?”
“Explain how that is true.”
“What do you mean when you say ….”

We can engage them by getting to the clear objective first, or we can tell them how things ended and then go back and give details.

“I lost my directions while traveling but I DID GET THERE SAFELY. Let me tell you what happened…” It has the potential to frustrate them if you walk them through all the details without the outcome first.

The Saturated personality is sensitive but it is a private and appropriate type of sensitivity. They appreciate small groups and alone time to recharge.

This week make it a point to find as many people as you can that have a high amount of Saturation in them. Even though we all have amounts of all four personality types in us, it is pretty obvious when someone has high amounts of Saturation when we look for the traits we discussed. You will see it and, please, take the time to enjoy the beauty of it. Even if you don’t exactly get the amount of Saturation in the person you are paying attention to, that’s ok! At least you are giving them some of your time to see their beauty.

Remember everyone is a masterpiece.

-Brook

Read about the other designs:
Whitened
Grayed
Blackened