Category: Attract

Why Shouldn’t I Focus on Just My Predominant Design?

Posted on March 16, 2020May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

A question was asked at Human Art this week that gets asked quite frequently: “What is the benefit of knowing all aspects of my design? Why can’t I pay attention to my predominant design only?”

The answer is not a simple straightforward one, it is one that, in my experience, elicits a great discussion. But we will give you a simple answer today.

You always have the right, in your autonomy or independence, to focus on your predominant design—the one that you are the strongest in. In fact, we have had clients over the years that have done just that, and at the time it worked for them. In that place and time that was exactly what they needed. However, they did come back later to explore more of the influences of the lesser (but just as important) designs and found that their influence on the predominant design was way more important and impactful than they were acknowledging or taking advantage of.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

The second option would be to immediately embrace all four of the designs and pay attention to the order and amount of them you have. The higher they are in your personality, the more they will influence your first, or predominant, design. For example, we have been working with a client whose design is Saturated first. It is so strong that more than half of her equation as a whole is Saturated. She is equally Blackened and Grayed next and then there is a small amount of Whitened at the end. She finds herself looking for clear answers and then moves to focus on that clarity in her work to become more successful in her respected career. That was once enough for her, but after she came to Human Art she learned that her Blackened and Grayed is the part that actually allows her to dig in to tasks once she prioritizes them and then she is meticulous with combing through what she might have missed at the end. She learned that her small amount of Whitened is the spontaneous part of her personality that wants to play or celebrate once a project finds its way to a successful and quality outcome. She expressed that she was just focusing on her Saturated abilities before consulting with us and she had ignored her instinct to use the strengths of her other three design influences. She left excited to move forward with all parts of her design and put into place her own system to success through her design.

The point of all of this is to answer that first question, “What is the benefit of knowing all aspects of my design?” At Human Art we give you the order and amounts of your design. If we have not done your profile*, you can still instinctively navigate your design. The important thing is, on is on your journey to find success I believe that using all aspects of your design to meet goals and challenges will launch you to higher amounts of success than just using your predominant one, which is just a portion of your whole design.

I believe you are worth it, and remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

*Click here to learn more about getting your personality profile

“Who Are You…Really?” Getting ME Back

Posted on June 25, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

There are many strategies that we as humans use to try and determine whether we can trust someone or not. One of the most common that I have heard about is deciding if people are kind and consistent. Another great way to determine if you can trust someone is if they are authentic. If they are not, it doesn’t always mean they have ill will intended for you, it could just mean they are insecure. Regardless of the reason, it is just a good way to know whether or not you can trust someone, especially with your own vulnerabilities.

If someone is not authentic and is trying to project a self that is not really them, it can mean that they don’t even trust themselves. If this is the case, they might not be a great candidate for someone to confide in or draw close to you. A manufactured self cannot generate anything because they are not a real self, just a projected version of who that person wants you to believe they are.

If you find yourself in a place where you are the one projecting something that you are not, it might be time to ask yourself, “who am I?” and start the process of getting your true self back.

We all seem to experience trials to some degree and, as we have discussed in the past few weeks, that puts us in a position to lose a little or a lot of who we really are. It is at this point we need to do an about face and run right back to who we really are authentically.

*Photo Source: Pexels (text added by Human Art)*

The first step to that is take a trip down memory lane and think about those things that were important to you when you were very young. Children usually don’t have an agenda to impress, they just seem to love to explore, and it seems natural to them to be curious. If you look back to when you were young you will find clues about how you were made, your design, and personality, and what you were beginning to value.

Second, think of your hopes and dreams. What are the things that bring meaning to you and your life? Spend time focusing on and discussing these with safe people around you. It will keep the focus on those things and can create a passion to see them out.

Third, assess regrets. Ask yourself what you regret not doing and, if it is healthy, make a plan to do it or have a do over. Find a way in your situation to slowly incorporate changes in some way to eliminate regret and move forward.

Lastly, remember that your design is unique and you are made completely different than anyone else. However, each design has a few different regrets in common, so it might be a helpful start to evaluate where you want to begin your journey in getting back to who you are authentically.

SATURATED
They love order, so any regrets usually have to do with not having the discipline to create the order around them that they need. They also love appropriateness or dignity so anytime they step off that kind of integrity, it eats at them. If that is the case, it is a good idea to have the healthy conversations needed to set the record straight as to what is really important to them and what they value.

WHITENED
They love enrolling, so when they have had situations where they have left someone out it eats at them. If this is the case, to make it right they either need to go back and make that person feel a part of things or, if that is not possible or unhealthy, just learn from it and correct that dynamic in future interactions. Make sure that same mistake is not repeated. Whitened people also love change, so if you find yourself relating to this and you are not creating the spontaneity in your life that leads to healthy growth, create it. Don’t wait for others to do it, you do it for yourself and enjoy all those that are willing to experience it with you.

GRAYED
They value tradition and thread relationships, so when a tradition gets cut off or a thread relationship in your life has been cut off, this can eat at them. If this is the case, bring back those old important traditions and create them again in a way that is meaningful to you. It might not be exactly the same and with the exact same people, but find components of the tradition that are fulfilling and bring them into the start of a new tradition, be the guard of it, and make sure it happens from now on. Take ownership of it. If relationships have been cut off and they are good healthy relationships, reach out. It doesn’t have to be much. Just a, “hello how are you?” to start that connection again.

BLACKENED
They value tasks and being able to fix it. If they have regrets it usually has to do with not mending or fixing something. If it is healthy and good for everyone around, then take the time to go back and fix what you missed. If it is not healthy, change the expectation of the fix and create a new compartment int your brain for “fixing is not fixing.” It is being able to label it “let it go” or not worth it.” Don’t save unhealthy things as something to fix or check off, just re-label them as not fixable and then you can move on. Take it off the list of things to fix.

These might not be representative of the whole journey of getting your authentic self back, but they are a great place to start evaluating what needs to happen in order to get your authenticity back or make it stronger. You are worth it, and it is a matter of telling those around you that they can trust you because you are honest about who you are.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Getting Our Authentic Self Back After Trauma – The Grayed and Blackened Designs

Posted on June 18, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

We talked last week about how trauma, big or small, can take away our authenticity. It is in those small traumas that occur over time that we are at risk of forgetting who we are and losing our sense of self and self-love. It leads us to give up a little confidence in our self each time we experience self-doubt because of a trauma. Remember, a trauma is anything life changing or that changes life as it was. Someone treating you harshly or really inflicting pain in any way can be considered traumatic and has potential to hit our authenticity. As a personality profiler, it is important to me that if you have experienced this on any level, run as fast as you can back to you authentic self.

When I am picking colors for any project, I consider which ones I will use based on what communication is needed. Last week I talked about how the Saturated and Whitened colors both need to shine; this week let’s talk about Grayed and Blackened.

If the colors selected are Grayed or Blackened, one component that needs to be present, no matter what color it is, is that both these designs relate better to the communication if they are matte. It is common in both designs that the communication is a little more understated. They like things more organic.

It is the same when these types of people are relating to others. Part of experiencing trauma is so much light and attention is shining on the person in a trauma, and just that fact alone can be even more traumatic. When someone in this design gets criticized for wanting to navigate the consequences of the experience in a more understated way, it can lead to extreme behavior in an attempt to protect themselves and get out of the spotlight. This can become a safety strategy over time.

Getting your authenticity back after a trauma
We had a client that experienced this. This client was desperate to find employment but had been treated harshly in past employment. The effects on this client were pretty damaging and in an attempt to keep it in a quiet place they just quietly and without any disruption left and looked for another job. The problem is that part of the criticism from the former boss led them to not trust anyone. In the interviews for each job, the minute the interviewer would ask questions about how they put themselves out there it created fear in our client. In an attempt to combat that fear, they would shut down and malfunction. Needless to say, the job hunting wasn’t going well for a while.

It is important to remember that the Grayed loves things matte and organic but in a refined way. Things that are understated but have been put through a process to make them even more desirable and legitimate. It is the same with the Grayed person. They love to be conservative but in their authenticity it still should be processed and analyzed in calm ways to make things more desirable. More desirable results equals more desirable conversations. The depth of things is where the Grayed design does its best work. Getting in and looking at all contingencies. That is the way back to authenticity.

It is also important to remember that the Blackened design loves thing matte and organic but in an earthy way. Just the way it is and was created. It is what it is. So the understated nature of the Blackened is the “no fuss” part of being in a conversation, or a dynamic, almost always as part of a task. That is the way back to the Blackened authenticity.

Being understated, conservative, or matte is so beautiful, and is a great way to navigate your way back from trauma. Find those things around you that make you feel safe in this form of authenticity. The road back to that place is filled with a collection of understated quiet conversations, calm interactions, and natural and organic experiences. To get there, find someone or something that will fulfill those needs. If they don’t relate to that design its ok, just find someone who will support it and celebrate it. Engage and put effort into things. It’s okay to pace it. Be matte and go deep into things. It is a beautiful way to find the romance and creation of your life.

And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Getting Our Sense of Self Back – The Saturated and Whitened Shine

Posted on June 11, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

As we go through our life in the day to day activities and tasks, we can experience trauma at any time. It can be quite dramatic sometimes, but for the most part we all experience trauma on the lighter end of the spectrum in our day to day routine. For this reason, we don’t always recognize it, and we also don’t recognize that that is what leads to a slight drop in sense of self. Little by little these hits can add up and create a crisis in our sense of self, who we really are, and our self-love.

We had a woman at Human Art experience this dynamic. She grew up in a family who loved her and met her physical needs quite well. Emotionally however, there was a family script that went back for generations that was full of rules and led to a great amount of perfection and harshness. It’s just all her family knew, and they were doing the best that they could. They managed to get through her upbringing, but she noticed as an adult she struggled with relationships and bonding. It led her to reach out and ask us for help. She realized that over time she had lost who she was and what her authenticity even looked like. We educated her on the fact that this was an example of one of these “small” traumas that had the potential to take her away from who she really was. Every time someone treated her with any level of perceived harshness it put her in a place of fear and she would flip into survival mode. Not a great place to try and relate or bond with people.

Many of us find ourselves in a similar situation, no matter the underlying reason, where we have lost our authentic self and let fear rule. So let’s talk about how we use our personality or authenticity (however much we have of it at any given time) to get our sense of self back. It is important to use the traits that are in our design to find our way back to who we really are so we can relate to others and bond with them in that authentic way.

The Saturated and Whitened Authenticity

One thing that the Saturated and Whitened designs have in common is, when we look at the colors that they both relate to, no matter what the color is it is always better when it has a shine added to it. Both designs relate to it. When it comes to interacting and relating with others, it is the very same. Both of these designs like to shine.

A Saturated person wants to shine through quality. If they are assigned to any task or project they themselves don’t want to have the attention on themselves, they want the quality of what they are engaged in to shine. It is a communication of sorts, to let people know that it is credible.

The Whitened design likes to shine in the fact that they are enrolling others. They love to draw attention to anything that will show something is enrolling or fun to bring people together.

In either design, they love to shine. When trauma happens, no matter how small, it takes them out of their ability to shine, and just the fact that someone or something is dulling them down can be traumatic for their sense of self and self-love.

The road back for these two designs is to continue, or maybe even try again, to shine. Whether it be in small or big ways, it is important to start. You could shine in a conversation or a small task, you could shine in a talent or a project. Just shine. It will jump start you back to your authenticity and a sense of self in the way that you relate to it.

This week encourage anyone that has Whitened or Saturated designs to shine. Whether it be yourself or someone you know, it is the week of those who love to shine. It will be helpful to all.

And remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

Authentic Road or Manufactured Road: The Human Race

Posted on April 2, 2019May 30, 2023 by Brook Thornley

One thing we all have in common as humans is that we are all engaged in the same marathon, the race, the human race. We all want to cross the finish line and we all want to make something of ourselves along the way. I love that about people. It’s just that, no matter how well intended we might be, if we pick the wrong path we end up at the wrong finish line. If we pick the right path we end up at the intended finish line—the one meant for us individually.

But how do we make sure we are in our intended life and on the right road? The answer seems pretty simple to me. It is all in who we identify with. If we chose to identify with our self and our authenticity, we are on our intended authentic path; if we try to identify with everyone else and mirror them, we choose the harder path that might not get us where we want to go. It certainly will create more obstacles along the way.

When we choose the road marked authenticity, we still have trials and struggles, but we finish the race with more traits and a stronger, organized, and healthy self. Using our authenticity to navigate the struggle of the race grows our ability to support our self and most importantly like, and even love, our self for who we are and what we have been able to accomplish. It moves us forward.

If we choose the road that is manufactured it is much harder because we have to create a path or a road before we can even run the race. It is organized through fear and is escalated with the bulldozer of control instead of curiosity; it twists us and turns us and winds us chaotically through the race and leaves us exhausted and confused as to where we really are and what our finish line even looks like. We still put our time in the race, we just wind up in a completely different spot than we wanted and leaves us disappointed and alone.

I remember years ago sitting in a lecture with world renowned Dr. Stanton Samenow who wrote the book, “Inside The Criminal Mind.” He was contrasting people who I understood to be authentic and those who had created such a manufactured and egoic self that they had completely lost any ability to have empathy. He also described some who were so ego driven that they lost any sense of self regulation and observing ego. He said something that has stuck with me for years. This is how I remember it: “Self-esteem is the product of a process.”

He went on to describe that ego driven individuals have little or no ability to stick with a process. They want a quick fix, or instant gratification. I sat and absorbed that for a minute. He went on to describe that it is in the process, and the effort that is required for that process, where we gain or self-esteem. He used the analogy of a race and said if he picked us up at the starting line and drove us to the finish line to ensure that we finished first then the trophy would mean nothing to us. It would be meaningless because we didn’t put our own effort into the process. That made so much sense to me. I had been working at this point for many years as a personality profiler and I had witnessed this dynamic so many times. To me, the people I had profiled that really took the time to understand themselves and use their authenticity to push through the human race one step at a time, patiently learning to love and support themselves, had reasonable amounts of self-love and self-esteem. Those who just wanted to be liked or admired right then and there, doing whatever they had to do to be accepted by others (outsourcing their acceptance) seemed to be plagued with self-doubt and loathing.

That is why at Human Art we have been focusing on authentic self vs manufactured self. We have talked about how each design works in this dynamic. Now I just wanted to punctuate how important it is to stay in your lane of life; run the race through your authentic personality and design, and let others run the race in theirs. Using your authenticity, you will find yourself ahead of others at one point and behind others at another. But you will also see that it doesn’t matter because running at your pace and in your way is the very process that is going to bring you optimal results. It is your time that you run it in, it is your story that makes the finish so wonderful, and it is what you see and discover along the way that will have meaning to you in a way that no one else will understand. It is literally between you and your maker. It is all about what you make of it.

I encourage you to jump in and find the authentic path for you. Some of the adventure in life is walking up to the starting line and pondering what lies ahead on your authentic road and then run! Keep running, sometimes fast sometimes slow, but just keep moving ahead. Take in the process and be curious. Love yourself along the way, and love others as well. Don’t judge your time and don’t judge others’ time. Just accept the journey and the distance of the race–the human race. And while you are running, remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook