Category: The 4 Designs

New Year Goals by Design – Part 4 – Blackened

Posted on by Brook Thornley

We are finally to the week of learning about the Blackened Design and their inner landscape tools! (if you haven’t read about the first three yet, read them here: Introduction and Saturated, Whitened, Grayed)

Photo by Anete Lusina from Pexels

The Blackened design craves tasks, so the required inner landscape tool is Effort. The central focus of the Blackened design is to fix it. They love to get the job done. This has the potential to step over emotions in order to get things done. This may alienate others because they become too narrowly focused on the task at the expense of bringing others along and integrating others’ perspectives and priorities.

When you meet a Blackened person, you immediately notice their effort and focus for the task. What is often missing is effort directed at considering different opinions on how the task may be accomplished. The Blackened person puts their energy into the obvious thing that needs to be fixed but it is a challenge for them to listen to the factors contributing to the problem or the impact of the problem in terms of emotional fall out.

When the Blackened person sets a goal, they focus on the obvious solution and can become resourceful to a fault. This looks like finding the most simple and pragmatic solution which is efficient and cost effective. It is hard for them to set a New Year’s goal because they tend to wait for something to break before they engage. It is kind of like a cycle of “break and fix, break and fix, break and fix,” etc.

When a Blackened person comes into Human Art, they express that others are too dramatic, too wasteful, too complicated, too stuffy, or too irresponsible. When we get to work and broaden their perspective, they can start to appreciate the bigger picture. Their effort is to look deeper to see what is really broken. As they understand a broader array of variables, they will be able to see and prevent problems before they break.

So the call to action this week is to ask more questions. Listen more deeply. Slow down and collect more information before acting. Fix feelings instead of things. Consider the intentions and values of others. Try taking the other’s perspective. If they are happy, then you fixed it.

And remember Everyone is a Masterpiece.

Brook


READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 1 – Introduction and Saturated
Part 2 -Whitened
Part 3 – Grayed
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

 

New Year Goals by Design – Part 3 – Grayed

Posted on by Brook Thornley

Just a quick note. Thank you so much for the positive response to this topic. I had messages from some of you saying they can’t wait for the Grayed and Blackened inner landscape tool. I appreciate those of you who expressed they are using the others and that it is helping. (If you haven’t read the first two articles, you can read them here: Part 1 – Saturated, Part 2 – Whitened) So let’s move right into the Grayed, and to all those who are anxious for the Blackened, I promise that is just a week away!

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels

The Grayed design craves connection, so the required inner landscape tool is engagement. The central focus of the Grayed design is navigating life through the details so these people can get caught up in the details and possibly find themselves overthinking their goals. This has the potential to get them in a place where they might over analyze the complexity of the goal and become overwhelmed. It is the overwhelmed feeling that leads to avoidance.

When you meet a Grayed person you can immediately notice and feel how engaged they are in the details of a process or a goal, so you might not think they need to learn how to be engaged. You are correct. They don’t always have a problem engaging, it is staying engaged when a problem arises. It is very tempting for them to avoid or put it off because they cannot line up the details.

When a Grayed person sets a New Year’s goal, they take a lot of time planning it out, writing down lists or plans and all of the components. They are good at seeing the, “what could be?” or “what might be?” (all the contingencies of the goal). That is the very part that can lead them into avoidance. If they perceive a confrontation, or that it might not work, that is what leads them to “put it on hold” or “put it off for another time.” This can lead to self-doubt and discouragement.

When a Grayed person comes into Human Art they often express that they feel stuck in avoidance but others perceive them as being stubborn. When we explain that this is more to do with an inner dialogue and a feeling of second guessing themselves, and immediately add the inner landscape tool of staying engaged in the process or the goal, we start to see them thrive. We teach them that part of engagement is to collaborate more; so more conversations need to happen, more questions asked for curiosity, and more describing what they feel to bring people along—then no confrontation is required. When they do that, we notice they start to engage again.

So the call to action this week is to engage, or stay engaged in bettering yourself. Don’t quit or avoid when it gets hard. Just enter the conversation, say something. Start somewhere and keep a steady rhythm of progress. It can be slow, just keep it steady. Create small steps and keep moving forward to keep you engaged in the process. Make lists, have conversations, stay in the moment, and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 1 -Introduction and Saturated
Part 2 – Whitened
Part 4 – Blackened
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

New Year Goals by Design – Part 2 – Whitened

Posted on by Brook Thornley

This week we are continuing our series on goal-setting by design and inner landscapes by talking about the Whitened design. If you missed last week’s post explaining this topic and teaching about the Saturated design, click here to read it.

The Whitened design craves healthy social interaction, so the inner landscape tool that is required is the ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way. The central focus of the Whitened design is social and change, and they have a great ability to enroll others. Because of this trait they tend to be very trusting and want to enroll everyone. Therefore, the inner landscape tool of being able to qualify what is healthy or who is healthy is an absolute must.

Photo Source: Pexels

The need for this skill can seem confusing to a Whitened person because of the fact that the amount of Whitened they have is the degree of that “no guile or agenda” of their personality that they have. Because of that fact, they might feel like they are being inconsiderate, judgmental, or mean if they have to qualify someone or something. This is the very reason they take a long time to disqualify someone or something—they will hang in there longer than others. The ability to qualify someone or thing is an intermediate judgment and helps us evaluate if someone or something is healthy for us. It is not a final judgment on a person, event, or thing—we usually don’t have enough information for that—but we can quickly assess in an intermediate judgment if something is healthy for us if we use our ability to qualify or disqualify.

If you talk to a Whitened person, you will quickly see that they do have the ability to qualify but it is usually in things to do or places that might be interactive, or even how to make someone happy. The real work is in learning to disqualify unhealthy people or things in their life because they want to give it a chance. But learning to set boundaries for a Whitened person, or protecting their agenda at the same time they are being kind, will always lead them to a strong inner landscape, good relationships and the ability to set goals and stick to them.

We see this all of the time at Human Art. When a Whitened person comes in they are usually kind. When they add the inner landscape tool of qualifying and disqualifying in a healthy way they thrive and quickly become kind but with boundaries to keep themselves safe. They are considerate and accommodating, but quickly it becomes based on correct principles and not strong emotion or over pleasing.

I hope last week’s call to action helped you in your week. The call to action this week is to strengthen the Whitened inner landscape tool in you. To the degree you related to the Whitened design or personality, is the degree you need to improve this skill. Whether it is a little or a lot any improvement will lead to success when setting goals.

Good luck again this week, keep at it, and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

-Brook

READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 1 -Introduction and Saturated
Part 3 – Grayed 
Part 4 – Blackened
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

New Year Goals by Design – Part 1 – Saturated

Posted on by Brook Thornley
photo source: pexels

Happy New Year! This is the time of year we all make goals and intently try to keep them but, as the story goes, we seem to run out of steam and by about March we are back into our old ways. Not everyone does this but for most of us it is an established pattern. The problem is not in our desire to grow and progress, it is in a step before that and has more to do with needing a few more tools. So this year why don’t we slow things down a bit, take a step back, and focus on those tools that are needed. Once we do that, we are in a good, healthy place to see our goal through. We call this setting goals by design.

There are four main tools or skills that are needed when we are trying to develop oneself. At Human Art, we call this process developing our “inner landscape.” It is an emotional inner landscape and it has four areas. Each design has its corresponding tool in each area, which it requires to function at its full potential. To have a complete and healthy inner landscape as humans, we need all four. To the degree we have each design, is the degree we need to develop the tool or skill.

Identifying Inner Landscape Tools for Each Design

♦ The Saturated design craves order, so the required inner landscape tool is discipline.

♦ The Whitened design craves healthy social interaction, so the required landscape tool is the ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way.

♦ The Grayed design craves connection, so the required inner landscape tool is engagement.

♦ And the Blackened design craves tasks, so the required inner landscape tool is effort.

We each have all four designs in our personality. To the degree our personality manifests the design is the degree we need the tool.

We are going to focus on one design and its inner landscape tool each week for the next four weeks. That will give you the time to work on each one and how it applies to your personality. we will start with the Saturated design.

The Saturated design needs order, so the required inner landscape tool is discipline. The central focus of the Saturated design is quality, so these people tend to narrow in on the one area that they deem quality in their life and they put all of their attention towards that area. Yes, that is discipline, but it is only in one area. The required tool is to learn to use that discipline in all areas. It doesn’t need to be as intense in all areas, just a broader focus and spread out throughout their lives.

When a Saturated person sets a New Year’s goal they tend to focus only on that, and they can let other areas go unattended. So they almost always meet their goal but find themselves behind in life and relationships because they neglected everything else to obtain the New Year’s goal. That leads to discouragement and they want to throw it all out. This is when they start to make declarations like “I just can’t do this anymore,” or “I’m just done,” or “I just need a break.” This leaves those around them confused and uncertain of what they might mean when they say this.

We see this all the time as we work with Saturated people. We have a service where we can break down the exact amount of Saturated design you have in all areas of your life (physical, social, emotional, etc.) and we get to work immediately implementing the required inner landscape tools and it is amazing how fast the person can progress in their goals when they learn to use all the tools properly.

The call to action on this first week of January is to determine how much of the Saturated inner landscape tool you need. Try spreading discipline around in your life and see how that makes you feel about yourself. Focus on that this week and then we will add another one in week two. 2019 will be a banner year for all of us if we first develop that inner landscape, which will lead to more fulfilling goal-setting and success down the line.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

 

READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 2 -Whitened
Part 3 – Grayed
Part 4 – Blackened
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

“I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing in Perfect Harmony”

Posted on by Brook Thornley
Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

“I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” I would like for myself to be able to sing in perfect harmony, but unfortunately, I cannot. What I can do is teach the world to SEE in perfect harmony.

Think of the state of the world right now. What are the things that you worry about? What are the issues that you disagree with others on? It seems as if lately we are all worried about some of these things? When those conversations come up (and they will) look even closer to the ones we love and how we interact with them when they do. Focus for a minute on what those conversations look like and how we go about them in our own families.

We see a lot of families over a week’s time at Human Art. They come in to Human Art in all sizes and forms. Each one is different and comes through the door with different challenges. I will say what I always say, “People are good.” Sometimes though, we can struggle in families. That is where I think we could focus.

That line again, “I’d like to teach the world to sing (or see) in perfect harmony.” When we hear it, whether it be from the song or in ads, it still rings the same in your heart. Just stop for a second and think of the intention of this statement: “in perfect harmony.” Harmony is not created by everyone singing the same notes together, but by everyone singing different notes that work beautifully together.

How do we obtain “perfect harmony” in a family?
We do it through acceptance and understanding.
Accepting and understanding for each individual.

You first have to accept their story, how they have gotten here so far in life. The facts, yes, but more importantly, how did they experience them?

Then you start the journey of understanding. You are curious and you use discovery. You don’t figure it out looking through your lens or filter, but you hear the story through the narration of what is happening through their lenses.

Each person will experience the same situation differently according to their design. I’ll say it again. You could experience the exact same thing, side by side, with exactly the same facts and, because of the difference in each design’s thought process, you will experience it completely different.

The Saturated Design
They will take all facts in, not processing as much as they are just absorbing. They just let them sit in that space in their brain until they get enough information to draw a conclusion and then it comes. A declaration. It will be precisely how they feel about the event and that will end up being their story. They will most likely stick to it pretty firmly.

The Whitened Design
They will take in how they, and more importantly how everyone else, is experiencing the facts. When they give their report it is most likely focused on the group and how each individual, “did this,” and, “then they saw that,” and they will throw in a, “and you should have seen so and so respond, it was amazing.” They will practically reenact the excitement (good or bad) so you get the full picture and they will always match the enthusiasm, or whatever emotion was present, of the event. They also will match the emotion of the person listening to the report.

The Grayed Design
You can almost see the swirls of facts in their expression, because they are collecting information as they experience an event. They immediately move to connecting the contingencies and their intuitive nature comes out. It is like their emotional engines are quietly starting up and through that intuitive nature they will experience the highs and lows of an event. That is how they can recall details so well. When asked, “what happened?” they go back and re-experience the emotion and it rekindles the memory.

The Blackened Design
They just move to fix. They can experience details of an event at the same time as their body moves to fix it. They are taking in the what, where, when, and the biggest component that helps them process any event, THE WHY. The why or why not is how they remember the details because it is the system in which they experienced the details. As they recite them they will often say, “that was good they did this,” or “I don’t know why they did that.” It is just the system in which it rolled out for them.

Photo from 123rf.com

So as you are spending time with family or close ones that feel like family, think of their harmony or personality and accept their way of thinking. You don’t change yours, you just negotiate from those two ways of thinking. It’s like you are seeing one event from many different sides. I promise if we do this when we are interacting with our loved ones, we will start to see one little Christmas miracle after another pop up. Probably nothing huge, but the impact on the harmony in the relationships with be great.

So at this time of events and parties, sing (even if it’s not in perfect harmony), laugh, accept, and understand…The more we do this, the more we will begin to SEE in perfect harmony. Live and love, and remember:

everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

**Song referenced: “I’d like to teach the world to sing (in perfect harmony)”, originally recorded in 1971, with several versions published over the years.