In the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” we talk a lot about the beginning of any journey. We talk about how to learn more about ourselves and love our self so we can relate to others in healthy ways. We talk about how important our beliefs about our self and who we are can be. They can determine whether or not we are controlled in relationships and whether or not we can leave behind unhealthy dynamics. Add all this up and it really has the potential to determine whether or not we are going to prosper in our hopes and dreams.
What does prosper look like for each design? Each week we will look at one design to see what this looks like for them.
SATURATED
For the Saturated design, whether or not we prosper is determined by what that Saturated person deems will hit the mark for them. It is the one or two things that they keep focused on in any dream. They keep that in their sights and they stay focused.
In the “Once Upon a Time” unhealthy dynamic, where the main character believes what the controlling person in their life has projected on them, the damage is done when it destroys the order around them and the definition of the order of their dreams. Order to someone high in the Saturated design is key, it is like the air they breathe. They thrive when everything is in its prospective place. If you take that order away or more importantly, pervert it, it can have devastating effects on someone that is Saturated. The degree of their Saturated design is equal to the degree of the devastation they will experience. This is the seed of their hopelessness. That hopelessness will now become the main character in their story and everything is organized around that. The fear infused into that narrative is their fuel. All bets are off and they are literally driven by fear.
The projective identity is placed on the Saturated person when the controlling person redefines order and what it looks like in this narrative. They don’t go directly at the Saturated person’s character because that design tends to have a lot of confidence. The dominating person seems to sense this, so they get busy redefining order and what it really looks like. They also add the extra flattering narrative for themselves of how good they are at this new kind of order (defined by them) and they move forward with a false self that appears even more confident than the legitimate and authentic confidence of the Saturated design. This is the hook. The Saturated person is left in self-doubt and that is when they start to consider that the egoic, projected, made up form of order is true. As time goes on and more hits come, they believe it more and more—and those roads all lead to hopelessness for a Saturated person.
The” can be” of the Saturated design plays a role here because they see things in an “all or nothing way.” They move from the confidence of the “all” or “all in” to the helplessness, avoidance, and shut down of the “nothing”, so they tend to feel and do “nothing.”
If you are Saturated, the best way to navigate your way out of this unhealthy version of the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” is to learn about and change the dynamics we talked about last week to move into the new and healthy “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” or starting place. It will lead to “happily ever after” kind of success. The next step is to throw out the narrative. Use that clear-thinking part of you that you already are familiar with and put your sights on whatever gives you clarity. It usually comes in the form of a declaration. Something like, “I can do this, or I’m competent, or I have dignity…” Focus on that one thing and go. Remember that your opinion of yourself in the “Once Upon a Time Dynamic” is the only one that counts in this point of your journey. Others will come later when you are healthy. You are the one to define order for yourself and then support yourself in it. It’s not selfish, it’s appropriate. It’s what is needed now. Stamp the statement and the meaning that goes with that declaration in your mind, apply it in your life and all around you. The third thing is to remember to move back to your authenticity. It is full of your values and preferences and defines what makes you feel safe. That will give you the personal power you need to navigate life.
I promise that if you want to prosper in anything, you need to know your authenticity and be able to support yourself enough to use it. Keep in mind that to prosper means to add resources to our life, to add meaning to our life, to obtain dreams, and to meet personal goals that lead to our dreams. The other part of prosper is to enjoy it when you do. It is to be grateful for it and to sit back and watch just how lucky you are to be on your own path and playing out the movie of your life, and not someone else’s script for you.
You are worth it, because everyone is a masterpiece.
Brook
RELATED POSTS:
Once Upon a Time: How to Prosper in Your Design
Once Upon a Time: How to Prosper in the Whitened Design
Once Upon a Time: How to Prosper in the Grayed Design
Once Upon a Time: How to Prosper in the Blackened Design
For example, take the story of Cinderella. In the beginning, Cinderella desires to be wanted, loved, and accepted in a relationship and a family. The stepmother convinces her that she is not any of those. At the same time, the stepmother goes to great lengths to show Cinderella that she, the stepmom, is. She boasts about how wanted she is, she tells how admired she and her daughters are. She implies in conversations how anyone would be lucky to win their hand in marriage. She puts herself and her daughters in a higher position as a family in an attempt to leave Cinderella out. This is all done to elevate herself in the things that she knows are important to Cinderella’s authenticity.
