Tag: New Year

New Year Goals by Design – Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

Posted on by Brook Thornley

Remember at the end of December/beginning of January, we talked about building an inner landscape before we set goals. Each week we walked you through one design’s inner landscape tool and we discussed and put into place a different tool. We had you practice all four of them. Now, you are equipped to move forward with goals. (If you haven’t read our previous posts about the inner landscape tools, start here first).

Photo by Bich Tran from Pexels

In the true form of a pep-talk of sorts…move forward and make goals, keeping the inner landscape tools as the priority. It is so common for all of us to have a pure and true desire to conquer a goal but it is very difficult, seemingly impossible, to do it without a good healthy inner landscape. It is the foundation for any goal setting, milestone, growth or achievement. So when you start a process of any kind, lay the foundations by strengthening your ability to use these tools and then landscape your goals until you get what you desire.

Setting goals by design is just as we have discussed over the month of January. It is finding the desired growth and then putting into play the inner landscape to support the growth in the goal. The degree we have each design is the degree that we need a good solid ability to use and support our growth with that specific tool. For example, if I was a person that had A LOT of Saturation and a large amount of Whitened right after it, I would need A LOT of discipline (Saturated tool) and a LARGE amount of ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way (Whitened tool). That would be my focus on my journey to achieving anything. Let’s also say That would leave a small amount of Grayed and “fumes” of Blackened in my design. Naturally I would notice I didn’t need to focus so much on staying engaged (Grayed) or my effort (Blackened). I would simply try to take notice of when I disengaged and what were the circumstances around that, also when did my effort start to lose its focus or strength.

As a reminder:
-Saturated inner landscape tool is discipline
-Whitened inner landscape tool is the ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way
-Grayed inner landscape tool is to stay engaged
-Blackened inner landscape tool is effort

A real life example from the Human Art family….

One client has Saturated first then Blackened second. She wants to achieve success in educating herself to get the desired profession she desires. It is her dream. Naturally she has no problem engaging herself in study and getting things done. She is literally like her own personal drill sergeant, marching to her own calls. She is very motivated and very structured—she has check off lists and compartments and she has the discipline to not move on until the task at hand is done. When she started the process at Human Art of learning and strengthening her inner landscape she could see that it was in her third design, Whitened, where she was falling behind. It was her inability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way that was taking her out and shutting down her growth.

It was interesting because she had a great ability to qualify healthy and unhealthy systems and people, she just didn’t have the ability to qualify herself and her efficacy in a healthy way. In other words, she disqualified herself easily and then her Grayed (her very last design) was quick to come up with evidence to support that unhealthy system. Her call to action, before any achievement or setting any goal, was to strengthen her ability to qualify herself. She learned to go into any task asking for help and learning to get integrated feedback so she didn’t have to be so quick to disqualify herself; instead she could make accurate evaluations about what she did well and what she needed to learn more about and move on from there. Her Whitened in a weak state literally had the ability to take out that great inner drill sergeant that was moving her forward. Now with a better foundation of a strong inner landscape she can move forward with her goals and find joy in achieving them.

If you desire your true authenticity then this is your new system of learning, growing, achievement and finding success. In each new process of moving forward in life, each new stage, each time we all find ourselves uncomfortable in growth, find security in this system. Now, at the end of January, set goals, sign up for new things, look to your dreams and think about what you want to accomplish and use your inner landscape to get there. You can and you deserve to grow. We all do, because…
everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

READ ALL THIS MONTH’S POSTS ABOUT INNER LANDSCAPE TOOLS: 

Part 1 – Introduction and Saturated
Part 2 -Whitened
Part 3 – Grayed
Part 4 – Blackened

New Year Goals by Design – Part 2 – Whitened

Posted on by Brook Thornley

This week we are continuing our series on goal-setting by design and inner landscapes by talking about the Whitened design. If you missed last week’s post explaining this topic and teaching about the Saturated design, click here to read it.

The Whitened design craves healthy social interaction, so the inner landscape tool that is required is the ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way. The central focus of the Whitened design is social and change, and they have a great ability to enroll others. Because of this trait they tend to be very trusting and want to enroll everyone. Therefore, the inner landscape tool of being able to qualify what is healthy or who is healthy is an absolute must.

Photo Source: Pexels

The need for this skill can seem confusing to a Whitened person because of the fact that the amount of Whitened they have is the degree of that “no guile or agenda” of their personality that they have. Because of that fact, they might feel like they are being inconsiderate, judgmental, or mean if they have to qualify someone or something. This is the very reason they take a long time to disqualify someone or something—they will hang in there longer than others. The ability to qualify someone or thing is an intermediate judgment and helps us evaluate if someone or something is healthy for us. It is not a final judgment on a person, event, or thing—we usually don’t have enough information for that—but we can quickly assess in an intermediate judgment if something is healthy for us if we use our ability to qualify or disqualify.

If you talk to a Whitened person, you will quickly see that they do have the ability to qualify but it is usually in things to do or places that might be interactive, or even how to make someone happy. The real work is in learning to disqualify unhealthy people or things in their life because they want to give it a chance. But learning to set boundaries for a Whitened person, or protecting their agenda at the same time they are being kind, will always lead them to a strong inner landscape, good relationships and the ability to set goals and stick to them.

We see this all of the time at Human Art. When a Whitened person comes in they are usually kind. When they add the inner landscape tool of qualifying and disqualifying in a healthy way they thrive and quickly become kind but with boundaries to keep themselves safe. They are considerate and accommodating, but quickly it becomes based on correct principles and not strong emotion or over pleasing.

I hope last week’s call to action helped you in your week. The call to action this week is to strengthen the Whitened inner landscape tool in you. To the degree you related to the Whitened design or personality, is the degree you need to improve this skill. Whether it is a little or a lot any improvement will lead to success when setting goals.

Good luck again this week, keep at it, and remember:

Everyone is a masterpiece.

-Brook

READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 1 -Introduction and Saturated
Part 3 – Grayed 
Part 4 – Blackened
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

New Year Goals by Design – Part 1 – Saturated

Posted on by Brook Thornley
photo source: pexels

Happy New Year! This is the time of year we all make goals and intently try to keep them but, as the story goes, we seem to run out of steam and by about March we are back into our old ways. Not everyone does this but for most of us it is an established pattern. The problem is not in our desire to grow and progress, it is in a step before that and has more to do with needing a few more tools. So this year why don’t we slow things down a bit, take a step back, and focus on those tools that are needed. Once we do that, we are in a good, healthy place to see our goal through. We call this setting goals by design.

There are four main tools or skills that are needed when we are trying to develop oneself. At Human Art, we call this process developing our “inner landscape.” It is an emotional inner landscape and it has four areas. Each design has its corresponding tool in each area, which it requires to function at its full potential. To have a complete and healthy inner landscape as humans, we need all four. To the degree we have each design, is the degree we need to develop the tool or skill.

Identifying Inner Landscape Tools for Each Design

♦ The Saturated design craves order, so the required inner landscape tool is discipline.

♦ The Whitened design craves healthy social interaction, so the required landscape tool is the ability to qualify and disqualify in a healthy way.

♦ The Grayed design craves connection, so the required inner landscape tool is engagement.

♦ And the Blackened design craves tasks, so the required inner landscape tool is effort.

We each have all four designs in our personality. To the degree our personality manifests the design is the degree we need the tool.

We are going to focus on one design and its inner landscape tool each week for the next four weeks. That will give you the time to work on each one and how it applies to your personality. we will start with the Saturated design.

The Saturated design needs order, so the required inner landscape tool is discipline. The central focus of the Saturated design is quality, so these people tend to narrow in on the one area that they deem quality in their life and they put all of their attention towards that area. Yes, that is discipline, but it is only in one area. The required tool is to learn to use that discipline in all areas. It doesn’t need to be as intense in all areas, just a broader focus and spread out throughout their lives.

When a Saturated person sets a New Year’s goal they tend to focus only on that, and they can let other areas go unattended. So they almost always meet their goal but find themselves behind in life and relationships because they neglected everything else to obtain the New Year’s goal. That leads to discouragement and they want to throw it all out. This is when they start to make declarations like “I just can’t do this anymore,” or “I’m just done,” or “I just need a break.” This leaves those around them confused and uncertain of what they might mean when they say this.

We see this all the time as we work with Saturated people. We have a service where we can break down the exact amount of Saturated design you have in all areas of your life (physical, social, emotional, etc.) and we get to work immediately implementing the required inner landscape tools and it is amazing how fast the person can progress in their goals when they learn to use all the tools properly.

The call to action on this first week of January is to determine how much of the Saturated inner landscape tool you need. Try spreading discipline around in your life and see how that makes you feel about yourself. Focus on that this week and then we will add another one in week two. 2019 will be a banner year for all of us if we first develop that inner landscape, which will lead to more fulfilling goal-setting and success down the line.

Remember, everyone is a masterpiece.

Brook

 

READ OUR OTHER GOALS BY DESIGN POSTS!

Part 2 -Whitened
Part 3 – Grayed
Part 4 – Blackened
Part 5 – Landscape Your Goals

New Year: Being Responsible for Our Own Worth

Posted on by Brook Thornley

Here we are a few weeks into January 2016 and I was just assessing how I was doing on all my New Year’s goals and asking myself, “What is it that I really want to become?” What is the end game? Where are these goals and endeavors to become something better really leading me? I know I want to be authentic. I know I want to be kind. These are worthy goals but do I really know where to stop and be content with who I am.

I was sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store really pondering these things when Kat, our Projects Manager, sent the following to me, saying it reminded her of Human Art:

Maybe the journey
isn’t so much about
becoming anything
Maybe it’s about
un-becoming everything
that isn’t really you
so you can be who you
were meant to be
in the first place.
(author unknown)

As usual, her timing was impeccable. It really got me thinking that day, and even when I think of it now it rings so true. Goals are amazing and they help us on our journey, but maybe it is just as important to use them to undo the things that are not true about us. All of the things we have picked up along the way that are not who we are. Maybe it is a journey to come back instead of move away from who we are.

After working on myself to be authentic as well as working to help others be authentic, this is what I do know:

We are responsible for our own:

  1. Love
  2. Acceptance
  3. Security

We are the only ones who can truly provide that for ourselves. Others can support us on the journey, but we have to be responsible for those things in our lives. Other than divinity, there is no one (Human anyway) that can provide this for us. We cannot outsource it. If we wait for someone to provide love, acceptance, or security for us, we will be waiting a long time. I also know if we do try to outsource our worth in any way it will usually leave us feeling profoundly insecure.

We don’t need a Prince Charming to provide our worth for us

This is how it works. If we have been hurt or traumatized in any way we run the risk of giving up our power. We feel hopeless and we can find ourselves waiting for a fantasy rescue; a Prince Charming (male or female version) to come save the day and restore the worth or power we’ve lost. The problem is there are always conditions to our rescue. These are conditions or expectations that only we know and have rules for. So we desperately need our Prince Charming to be perfect in that rescue by meeting those conditions, in order to alleviate our pain. It turns into a big reenactment and we are now looking for that perfect ending so we can feel better and fix the original pain. This can be played out in a number of ways with a whole cast. The flaw in this system is when Prince Perfect Charming shows up, he tends to show up as human—not perfect—and we are left disappointed; feeling an even greater amount of hopelessness and insecurity.

When we provide acceptance, love and security for ourselves, then it doesn’t matter what happens externally because we are operating from a secure and solid base: our authentic self. In short, we are all like water; humans rise to love and accept us to the same level we love and accept ourselves.

So as we move through the rest of the year, striving to complete our goals, think first of where you started. What is your authentic nature? What is your central focus? What things might you need to “un-become” in order to be who you were meant to be? These things are dictated by you. You are the only one who truly knows the real you. The rescue has always been right in front of you because IT HAS BEEN YOU THE WHOLE TIME THAT CAN SAVE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF! Run back to who you are, run fast and run hard. Don’t stop until you find yourself. Use your goals and the support around you to aid in that marathon. Don’t look externally for your worth, it has been there all along. It is your spirit, it is your soul, it is your diving nature. You know it best. Love yourself like you want others to love you. Then forget yourself for a moment and love others because everyone is a masterpiece.